how do I stop snapping at the kids either side of a visit from the ex?

[workshy]

ex messaged me this afternoon wanting to come over this evening for a chat about something or other so I said yes because it's easier to

so I have been working myself up all afternoon, he came over to talk about a hospital appt for one of the DCs, could easily have been sorted out via text so I think the sole purpose of his visit was to flash his new i phone about and go on about 'oh you don't have an i-phone do you?

this has absolutely wound me up as getting money out of him for the DCs is like pulling teeth -I've just cancelled swimming lessons because I can't afford the full cost and he won't contribute because he can't afford -and he's got an i-phone grr grr

anyway I have just realised I have been sniping and snaping at the DCs all evening, they know something is up with me but I can't tell them I'm pissed off with their dad!!!

do you every get to the point where you can just roll your eyes at the ex's behaviour and ignore it?

Yes, eventually I did. I did have counselling though. I used to rant and rave for hours, get snappy and generally be really unpleasant to be with. Now, I can laugh off his behaviour and get on with enjoying my life without him affecting it quite so much

It has also helped to minimise face-to-face contact as much as possible, and reduce phone conversations to urgent (within 24 hr) issues only.

Now your ex has an i-phone, he can check his emails on the go, so you can email any non-urgent issues, can't he ?

I used to get irritable with the children for a few hours before ex- turned up, and found it hard to settle the whole evening after they came home. It's very normal. But not easy for the children. It got better with time and as we established a new 'normal'. Don't beat yourself up - it's a very stressful time.