i'm so stupid and it's hurting my children as a result.
their dad has never had them overnight. he is forces and stayed with his parents when he was on leave. him and his partner bought a house and got the keys at the start of april. ex texted at this time telling me that he had leave for the whole of may and would like to have the dcs overnight. i said great just let me know what dates in advance (he constantly turns up on my doorstep without any notice asking to take the dcs- i have never refused even if it has meant cancelling our plans) he said he would.
so he phoned to talk to dcs last friday and didn't mention contact or having them stay overnight so i asked. he said he would be home this weekend so would probably be having them to stay over and told me he would need clothes for them both as he had none and asked if he could borrow my stairgate. in preparation i took the dcs to pick out new pjs, slippers and a little overnight bag each to take to daddy's as i wanted them to have them for their first stay.
i hadn't heard anything by wednesday and texted him asking if he was definitely having them this weekend and what nights. he said he hadn't got beds sorted yet so couldn't have them. fine, i broke it to the dcs, they were gutted. they had been really looking forward to it.
they went for their normal contact with ex's parents yesterday and exp left them home. i asked him how long he was home for, he said the whole of may and so i asked if he would be having the boys as they were really looking forward to it. they boys were standing right beside me. he said that he was getting their beds today so it all depended how long it took him to get them put together (he is an engineer so i would imagine this is not beyond his capabilities). he asked if he could have the dcs on monday as school is closed for bank holiday. i said yes no problem why dont you have them sunday night as you will have the beds then. he said he would let me know as he was getting the beds from his partner's family. i said fine, i need to know by lunchtime as we are going to see my dad for his birthday and would need to pack their bags before we go (there is no way i was going to get them all excited by packing bags for him to text later and say it wasn't happening).
so it get's to 1.30 this afternoon and i haven't heard from him. i text asking what is happening and he just replies saying "sorry, havent got beds yet" i asked what had stopped him getting them as the boys were looking forward to going. he said he couldn't just go and take them from someone else's house. fair enough. so i suggested he get an airbed from argos (he is loaded and argos is 5 minutes from his house) because the boys really wanted to go. he didn't reply. i left it half an hour and then asked again what he had decided to do. he said. "gimme a minute to get something sorted" i left it an hour and still no answer so i text again and he replied saying he couldn't do it as the house wasn't ready, and he didn't know why i was giving him jip because he cant have them sleeping in a room with no floor! this is the first time he has mentioned teh house not being ready and not having any bloody floors down!! why couldn't he have said that during the week or even yesterday when i asked if tehy could stay?
why do i ever believe he wont let them down? my poor dcs dont know what's going on from one day to the next when he is here. i'm so sick of having to let them down and make up some excuse as to why daddy hasn't turned up or cant take them. he has said he will take them when the house is sorted. no clue when that will be but i'm so reluctant to even tell my dcs the next time he offeres to take them incase he lets them down again. i just dont believe him at all now no matter what he says.
sorry. that was really long. just venting. i'm so annoyed.