Quick advice please?

[Chocoholic21]

I have a DD (just turned 2). Ex sees her for the day every weekend. Until now he has always collected from my parents an is not allowed to my house. I have asked him to collect her from a soft play centre tomorrow and he is refusing saying it is not good for her and he will be at mine at collection time. We go to court next week and I don't want to do anything to make me look bad...and advice on what I should do please?

Re-iterate that he is not to pick dd up from your home and that he can pick her up at softplay. If he turns up at your home ring the police, you should not feel intimidated within your own home regardless of what he wants.

Unclear why he can't pick up from yours. If he's not allowed by law or is likely to be violent towards you, then do as MisPrickle suggests. If not, then let him pick up from yours. Have DD all ready to go and just take her out to the car. He needn't come in the house if you're not happy with it.

when you say ex is 'not allowed to your house' has there been DV in past or court order? Whatever the reason it is your home and your choice though.
Can you get dd to your parents to save this hassle (change of place) esp if you think it will go against you at court next week.
I don't understand mind you why he doesnt want to pick dd up from softplay?

How did it go Choco ? Sounds like he's playing power games to me...Hope you're ok.

He was horrid! My parents were away an court order means he can't come to mine which is why I suggested soft play. He said he didn't want to take her to soft play and it wasnt good to exchange her in the car park. In the end I just said to meet at my parents but didn't say they weren't there. So in the end we did exchange in a car park (but DD was just more confused because she couldn't see my parents but we were at their house!) I later saw him in the car outside my house, so not sure what that was about! And he is meant to have her back at 4pm but he phoned at 2 to say he was going to be late. How he could have known at that time he was going to be late but not change something to be back on time I'll never know! Just more rubbish to drag out the already long and expensive court proceedings I guess! Thanks for your replies.

He was stopped outside your house at time he had dd?

This is ringing huge alarm bells for me.

If this happens again take photo or better still video it for evidence. try and get car reg no if he picks dd up again to ensure same car and if he parks outside again call police...don't do it with dd in his care though.

I think you may to keep eye out to see if car is around more often?

If ex is stalking this type of mind set is dangerous....be careful. I am sorry I am overacting but having been through last few yrs of issues re stalking/attacking ex who was beating ds i know how bad it can get and alarm bells going off here if parking outside etc all vengeful reminders how it was for me.

It sounds like he brought dd back late to as punishment for not doing what he wanted! Log it all with solicitor including texts.

As seaofyou says, log it all! He should be sticking to the court order for dd's sake. Is it a final order? Please inform your solicitor of his behaviour. My ex used to loiter outside my house and it used to really unnerve me, he finally stopped but now has his friends keeping an eye on me apparently. I agree he brought dd back late to punish you, he should not be doing this. Hope you get things sorted op.

Sorry it was shit Choco. Good advice re photos and logging details for evidence.