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ex has been to rehab and is reborn (apparently...)

3 replies

angrywoman · 05/05/2012 11:36

Just pissed off. My ex's drink problem got critical around 2.5/3 years ago and since then he has had me in and out of court trying to get contact and denying drinking. Blood tests, police and medical records showed he was lying. So he has had only supervised contact since, a bit sporadic since at least 1/3 he didn't show up. We tried contact centre, a childrens service and also I supervised for a while and had to put up with his barbed comments toward me.
A few months ago his mum paid for him to go to rehab.
In court this week he was back wanting contact and I feel I am being pressurised into allowing it at too early a stage. Recent police records (just before rehab) have shown him to be unstable in his relationship and his actions are still suggesting mental problems besides the drinking.
Because he has let them down so many times I do not what direct contact until at least a year after rehab.
Yesterday in court I was almost being bullied into allowing his cousin to supervise. She is younger and I don't trust her to inform anyone if he crosses boundaries (drink or behaviour). The cafcass worker lost her temper and started saying I was a 'disgrace' and more...
I suspect cafcass are desperate to get this done and dusted now, but I do not trust him.
My solicitor told me that it would be hard top stop contact altogether now as he has had a negative booze test.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Dee03 · 05/05/2012 11:50

I havent got any words of advice but just wanted to offer you support.
Your situation sounds awful....
I havent had any experience of court orders or contact centres but if hes allowed supervised access surely it must be with someone impartial and not a relative of his......

angrywoman · 06/05/2012 18:28

...exactly it's not rocket science is it! Someone who is impartial and certainly not a relative of his! Yet me and my mother (who supervised for a bit) can't stand it and cafcass have limited funds. Its a very sad situation. He is a complete arsehole, completely selfish and I am just sick of bending over backwards to enable contact.

OP posts:
tripletipple · 07/05/2012 21:18

What ages are your children? Even though you don't like it perhaps you will have to continue doing the supervision to ensure your children are safe. I certainly wouldn't trust an addict with my DS just because they'd done a stint in rehab, you are right to be warey.

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