How to work when there are so many school holidays etc.?

[nomoreharibo]

Am trying to get back on my feet financially but no idea how i will be able to manage with school holidays - exdh says he cannot take any days holiday to help out - we are currently going through divorce and am thinking i should maybe have more equity in house or something like that so that i have some chance for independent financial future..?

Go to court to get a proper contact schedule in place. A lot of these assume that the child will stay for half the school hols with each parent, so he'd have to sort out childcare for the time your DC is with him.

For days you work, get a childminder and/or do you have any family close by who can help?

With regard to your house, if you are selling it you'll be entitled to half the equity and possibly more, depending on what the situation was when you bought (e.g. who paid most deposit etc), so see a solicitor. In fact see a solicitor for this and contact.

childminders, summer schemes, holiday clubs, friends, family.

you could also ask for flexible working hours or term time hours from your employer.

Unfortunately you cannot force a non-resident parent to have the children for half the holidays, though you can try. A agree that a contact schedule is a good idea, if possible.

My ExH has the children for a maximum of two weeks over the whole year - i.e. 2 weeks out of 14 weeks (if you include inset days). Not good!

I found the YMCA holiday play schemes very good, and you can get Chilldcare Tax Credit towards the cost. However now the maximum amount is 70%, you would be left paying 30% of about £35 a day.

So make sure you have the equivalent of a 'business plan' for the future, if possible.

And good luck.

childminders, summer schemes, holiday clubs, work play schemes etc etc
live in au pair, live out au pair, advertise on gumtree etc

holiday clubs, own leave, family and something I did last summer was to speak to one of my DD's friends mums (also works full time) and "buddy up" I took 1 week leave and looked after both my dd plus her friend.. the other mum then took the following week and looked after both of them.

I also have to deal with a nrp who only "allocates" 2 weeks a year (inc bank holidays) to see/look after DD.

Good luck, it is doable but you need to be super organised/have good planning for it to work.

I have an au pair who lives in. Whilst I would love not to have to there really is no other option as my job involves long days and travel. My ex also only does limited holiday cover

My ex does not use any of his annual leave for contact, only interested in seeing DS on a Saturday (not every week though - heaven forbid!). I use a childcare scheme that does after school and holiday care and also share care with friends or odd days here and there.

Ask kids round on play dates when you have the opportunity to do so and be sure to let their parents know of your own needs so they may reciprocate when you need the childcare.

ExP, who barely sees DD during the year, NEVER takes her for any holidays. I try and keep 3 weeks for summer hols, give her 3 weeks at Kids Club (these are brilliant where I am and you can look at the programme of activities and choose the 3 weeks that look the most exciting for her) and any slack is taken up by begging my parents to have her for a week. I build up my flexi time as well, to try and cover any odd day outstanding. Not easy, but with a bit of planning it's manageable

I manage with holiday clubs and grandma. I do get help from Tax Credits but it means working out my yearly child care costs in time for the renewal in July

I've said it before, so sorry for the repetition, but I think it's awful that NRPs can get away with such a lax approach to their parenting responsibilities, and put the RPs in such an invidious position with regards to their ability to work and make a decent life for their children.

My EXH's refusal to take on his fair share of parenting has depressed my career and earnings; while his have increased.

Sigh.. I remember the 6 week summer holidays fondly.

My XP saw DS more than he does now, but in no way didi he share the care.

I had to implement a detailed rota- covering childcare. I had extra time at the childminders, the odd day at both sets of gp. (my DM not the most forthcoming when it comes to looking after her GC!) and took my own annual leave. As DS got older he became good friends with another boy - and his mother worked a similar number of hours to me - so as a previous poster said we 'buddied ' up and exchanged days of care for each other.

I was on WFTC etc - and I guess the extra £ I paid out would have been sorted out the following year - I don't really remember.

It isn't fair though that the NRP doesn't take equal responsibility - although there are some that do. My new DH has his DC quite a lot - and theiir DM hs never worked so doesn't need him for 'childcare' purposes.

Hurumph.

It is tough - but it won't be for ever.

I work full time and DS's dad does not see him regularly and so far has not taken him during school holidays and I have managed.

I manage with a combination of my annual leave from work ( can only take leave to look after DS so have to plan VERY carefully), his after school club runs a holiday club but is v expensive so cannot afford too many weeks - I pay for this mainly with childcare vouchers though salary sacrifice at work. I claim £50 more per month that after school club costs to "save" for the holidays. I have also sent DS to the church holiday club which is £5 per week - mornings only but only had to take half days.

It is possible

I have to work hard to cope but I am totally independent. My Ex or his family would not DREAM of offering to help with DS. My own family will help at a push if I ask for clearly specified things such as a couple of hours but would not offer to take an active role in actual childcare.

I have found out about options available and have been lucky that DS likes the after school club so much that he is happy to go there during the holidays.

If you are accepted into the playground mums circle then you may well be lucky and end up with some great child care swaps (I have not been lucky unfortunately!)

Linerunner I agree totally about the career/earnings sacrifice. Lots of jobs I would have loved to have gone for, and would have had a fair chance of getting, but as LP with ASN DD I have not managed to consider. ExP on the other hand, does whatever he wants.

and Gilmoregirl Out of School Care Clubs/Kids' Clubs are the best investment our Council has made. DD loves the supervisors and play leaders and their programme of events is much more than I would ever do with her if it was just the two of us.

DD has ASD, so has no friends and even at 12(nearly 13) still can't be left alone, And I get zero child tax credit, as I earn over the threshold . But I still think that kids' clubs are worth the money, plus ours have loyalty cards, so you get every 15th session free.

I manage by using a combination of friends, family, childminder and holiday club. Where I live it costs £18 a day for the holiday club and dd loves it!
I work 3 days a week and do get quite good annual leave (work for the NHS) so it seems to work out fine.

All of the above really. And i also work 4 days a week and have a flexible employer that lets me swap days around so I work 5 days on the weeks either side of each holiday and then have the days off in lieu in the hols. But suggest a bit more pressure on your ex to cover some of them

As above really - I used the 80% child tax credits... plus Child Maintenance, plus CB, plus my wages. I could afford a childminder with all of that but if things are really tight you could use an after school club, YMCA, care-swap (swap weeks with another Mum or two.. i.e. two weeks of the summer each) the odd child minder day.

• It's the sick days you need to worry about - holidays are a breeze

I'm self-employed so I plan my work around the holidays - my DS has special needs so he can only cope with a small amount of after-school club and I have to pay his support worker's wages on top (£20 for two hours!) but I get 70% back from wtc but at least it gives me the flexibility to do a full day when I need to. I did try employing a nanny which does work (just) but as the lovely one we had is leaving for better wages I'm opting for less work for a bit. XP has DS for one weekend (9-5) once every six weeks - but at least I can use that time for working.

Because nobody wants their kid to be friends with the one with SN there's not much chance of playdates/ reciprocation with most of the other kids (plus the parents would need training in physical restraint and nerves of steel lots of patience to take on DS but I do have one friend with whom I swap childcare as her DC has some similar SNs - however as a combination they're such unbelievable hard work we only do it in emergencies. My mum can't manage DS and nobody else would think to offer.

Could you work in education/schools? I do and its a god-send as far as holidays concerned!