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Got my new place - What do I do now?

14 replies

MummyJules · 12/02/2006 21:32

Argh! So much to think about, so much has happened in the last couple of days. I went to the council on Weds and Thurs and looked into the housing options. Spoke to the manager on Thurs and he found a landlord that had a place to rent that is literally five minutes walk away from where I live now which is totally amazing!
Went to look at it today and I love it - Is right next to the family centre I go to and a brand new swimming pool. Is a two bedroom maisonette which is perfect for me and dd. I spoke to the Landlord and I am meeting her tomorrow. Hope to move out by the 3rd March which is very soon

Won't be able to tell P Ive left until Ive actually physically moved out all my stuff which is really crappy and I feel so deceptive but I know it would be an awful situation if I told him before hand.

So what do I do about utilities etc, how do I go about explaining it to a 3 yr old, what do I need to live on my own - Please help me I am in a state of shock and can't think properly. I really didn't expect it to happen this quick but now I know I just want to move out!

OP posts:
MummyJules · 12/02/2006 21:34

and what shall i put in my letter to P? Am planning on making an appointment at our local family mediation service.

OP posts:
MummyJules · 12/02/2006 21:35

and what shall i put in my letter to P? Am planning on making an appointment at our local family mediation service.

OP posts:
pepperpots · 12/02/2006 22:02

First of all you need to contact jobcentre or cab and they will get your benefits sorted out so you dont have to go weeks without any money. Utilities i would call them as soon as you get a moving in date so you have all your gas/elec/water switched on in time. I dont really know your situation though so i wont comment on what to tell your 3 yr old Good luck btw

nutcracker · 12/02/2006 22:21

You need to have a lone parent meeting at a job centre and they will tell you everything you need to know.

Nice that you got somewhere so quickly though.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 12/02/2006 22:24

I suggest you bump this in the it is very slow on here at weekends.

Skribble · 12/02/2006 22:42

Do you have a friend that could store any stuff you need to buy for new house and help with th move? I swear by charity shops and boot sales for cheap stuff and kitted out my first home this way. Some charity shops stock larger items like furniture.

If you can stay positive in front of your 3yr old they will probably think its a bit of an adventure.

nutcracker · 12/02/2006 22:42

If you will be on benefits you can get a grant for new stuff too i think.

Loobie · 12/02/2006 23:07

Yip agree with making an appointment at the jobcentre with a lone parent advisor to start claims for benefits,housing ben,council tax etc,then by the time march comes round it will all be sorted out,technically!!Also apply for what is called a community care grant,this will help for furniture etc for the new house.Will post more in the am but glad you have got the biggest bit sorted so quickly.

MummyJules · 12/02/2006 23:27

Thanks so much everyone. Will contact the job centre tomorrow and see if I can get a meeting. Do I contact them at my local branch or is their another number I call?
How do I explain this all to my partner - Want the letter to be sincere but I know he will feel rejected and may up doing something drastic.. So hard!

OP posts:
MummyJules · 13/02/2006 08:28

bumping for the morning crowd after a horrible nights sleep. I am majourly stressing about leaving and how it will affect my little girl, am also worried how it is going to leave P as I know he will take it badly

OP posts:
beejay · 13/02/2006 09:19

Well done for taking the necessary steps to get out of a bad situation, it takes guts to do things like that but it sounds like it is the best thing for you to do...
In the long-run your little girl will be fine, she will adapt, as long as you remain calm and confident about your decision. Keep reassuring her that you will always love her and be there for her, no matter what.
Try and make the new place exciting and fun, keep stressing the positive aspects.
And even though your relationship with your p will be strained, try and reassure her that her dad still loves her, that she will be able to see him regularly etc.

When you say you are scared of your P's reaction, what do you mean, are you scared he will be violent? or just deeply upset?

nutcracker · 13/02/2006 09:30

I contacted my loacl job centre and then they gave me a seperate number to ring. Be prepared to be on the phone for a while as they ask you loads of questions.

Only prob is, they send you the forms for benefits out, will your dp see them ???

Janos · 13/02/2006 10:10

MummyJules, I moved out fairly recently on my own. I second, third and fourth the advice about getting to the CAB. Do it as soon as you can.

Don't worry about keeping things quiet from your (X)?P. Your priority is to look after yourself and your DD.

In terms of practical stuff (getting phone connected, gas and electricity sorted etc) aks me and I'll tell you what you need to know.

If you're working, you may be able to claim Child Tax Credit/Working Tax Credit depending on how much you earn.

Any questions at all, please let me know.

Good luck to you, you'll find a lot of support on here - they're a great bunch

almostanangel · 04/03/2006 07:38

hi hun how are you getting on now? im in roughly same position you were in at beginning of this thread ,,[hugs]

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