Parental rights of absent father not named on birth certificate. Please help. I could cry! :(Uo

[Alisonjayjay]

Can I stop my sons father from seeing him if he isn't named on the birth certificate and he hasn't seen him for 4 years? I'm so worried. We split 4 years ago after I found out he was cheating and since then he's been living abroad and hasn't seen or spoken to my son since. He's never paid maintenance or had.contact in all that time. Today he showed up at my Mums door asking to see his son.He doesn't know my address as far as I'm aware but I'm terrified he'll show up at my Mums when my son is there and try to take him. Neither of us want to see him. I don't think he has any rights after all this time. Am I right? And does it make any difference that my son doesn't want to see his father either. He's a smart little boy and I have asked him what he thinks and he sees this man as a stranger and although he knows its his dad he has told me he doesn't want to see him. Can I stop him from coming near the house? I'm now with a new partner and 4 weeks away from giving birth. This is putting me under so much stress I could cry. I really need advice but can't afford a lawyer. Will citizens advice be able to advise me. Please help.

I wonder when young children are allowed to make decisions about not seeing parents, if they said I want to live with the other parent, would the child's right to choice be accepted.

I bet it wouldn't.

I understand that in some cases, the risk to a child from a NRP is considered to be so great, that preventing contact may be seen as the only option - but, surely it is better to go through the appropriate channels to ensure that is documented and evidenced - rather than take matters into your own hands? Courts are prepared and able to limit contact in cases where it is necessary - why wouldn't you pursue this option?

The reason I ask is because if the worst should happen, and your DC is left without a mother while still a minor, their father will be considered a suitable primary carer unless there are documented reasons why not. If you are not there to prevent it, and there is no formal record of why limiting/restricting contact is best for your DC, then their father is going to be considered the obvious choice; even if there hasn't been regular contact up until that point.

How much more dreadful would it be for a DC who has just lost their mother to then be placed in the care of someone that they have grown up believing is a risk and dangerous?