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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Just become a single parent

14 replies

Sam1973 · 28/04/2012 10:21

My husband moved out yesterday. I woke up this morning on my own and i have really mixed emotions.

I know i have done the right thing ending the relationship, but i am so scared of doing this on my own. I have 2 lovely children and i am worried I will have scarred them for life..

It is an amicable split and he will see them often. Dont know what i want from this really- maybe just some reassurance it will all be ok??

OP posts:
molepom · 28/04/2012 11:15

It will be better than great, it will be fantastic!

Give it a few weeks and it will hit you, then all of a sudden you will wake up with your eye's open in a whole new way.

Your kids will be just fine if not better than how they were before as they will hopefully see both parents happy. As long as both adults are considerate towards each other and still continue the same rules for the kids you had when you were together they will thrive.

angrywoman · 28/04/2012 11:25

Welcome to the club! Its REALLY not as bad as its seems from the outside, especially if you know you have done the right thing.

Original poster
Sam1973 · 28/04/2012 12:06

Thank you, was having a wobble this morning but feel better after reading your comments :)

OP posts:
chocoraisin · 28/04/2012 15:10

even when it's NOT an amicable split, and not what you want (I didn't) it doesn't have to be terrible/scar children/ruin lives :) the main bit is still seeing the kids regularly and collaborating on what's best for them as much as you still can. If you have that bit nailed you'll be just fine! Good luck :)

zonedout · 28/04/2012 15:43

I am in a very similar position to you. Mine moved out 2 weeks ago. Also have two children and its also all very amicable. I am awash with a mixture of relief, guilt (for the dc's), fear (my dc's are still very young and I feel somewhat daunted by the solo child rearing task that lies ahead), at times loneliness. The children are, so far, amazing me by how well they atre doing with it all and how easily they seem to have (so far, at least) adapted.

Anyway, i'm here for support if you want it.

Original poster
Sam1973 · 28/04/2012 16:01

maybe we can help each other zonedout?

OP posts:
purpleroses · 28/04/2012 18:28

I'm 8 years down the line and don't regret spitting for a.minute. Was yalk

purpleroses · 28/04/2012 18:34

Bloody phone - didn't mean to press send. meant to say was talking to DS - now 12 - yesterday about how he feels about his life between two homes. I said obviosly in a ideal world everyone would stay together... but DS said firmly No that he thinks his life with his complex new step.parents etc is better :) and he doesn't regret not living with his dad at all. your DCs will be fine and so will you

MissPricklePants · 28/04/2012 23:04

I have been a L.P since dd was 4 months old and she is 3 now, ex has minimal involvement (his choice) and I can tell you that yeah it can be hard work but it will get easier/better! Just keep going and it will become natural. I can't imagine parenting with another person!

Worldwithwings · 29/04/2012 07:18

Your children will be fine and an amicable split feels good because you don't lose all of that feeling of being a family. It just alters in shape. After a while you'll get to trust what it feels like now and then everything feels safer. I felt a real wrench on separating but 6 months on I feel happy again and I have a wonderful time with my very content DCs who know we both love them to bits. The first bit's painful but you and DCs will be great.

zonedout · 29/04/2012 07:31

Thank you Sam, I think that sounds like a perfect idea. It seems to me that loneliness and isolation can be a bit of a problem so mutual support could be very helpful!

My dc's are off to spend the day with their dad today. Last Sunday I felt utterly bereft without them (despite having organised some nice things to do for myself). It won't be long before they start to stay the night at his and spend entire weekends with him (every other) which I am abolutely dreading as other than countless hospital stays with one or the other I have never spent a night away from them Sad

Still, 'one day at a time' is my new motto. I can't let myself think too much about what lies ahead...

How are you doing today, Sam?

Nat38 · 30/04/2012 16:09

Hi
Ill be in your position next week as my DH is moving out then!!<img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Smile" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/smile-iCO8d7ST.png"><img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Blush" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/blush-Brh13p-7.png"> Im just starting to get a bit scared/worried about stuff!Confused Not that I want him to stay!!Grin Just that itll be just me with my 2 DDsSmile
But I know that I can do it & will really enjoy him not being here once we get into the swing of things!Smile
Will follow your thread to see how your getting on, if thats ok?!
More support for all of us?!

Original poster
Sam1973 · 07/05/2012 20:48

Just noticed last message on here so thought i would add that there have been a couple of minor hiccups but doing ok :)

OP posts:
Sam1973 · 07/05/2012 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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