contact and maintenance

[WhippingGirl]

exp has reduced his original offer of a maintenance figure, subject to full financial disclosure. solicitor thinks i should accept interim figure to just get something. i have done a budget and this figure plus salary/tax creds etc less all my essential outgoings leaves me with something like £45 a week to pay for clothes/activities/sundries. i know that doesnt mean much but i will barely be able to afford our life (the dc and i)

i took on the current rental with exp's blessing and guarantee that he would pay maintenance to the value of all but £20ish of the rent. i am stuck here until july and if i move then the dc will have moved every 6 months for 18 months.

i feel like exp is doing this to get back at me for the restricted contact i am offering (cant disclose as will out me but solicitor has advisede what i am proposing is fair in the circs)

i dont know where to go from here except make huge budget cuts where i can and hope for the best. feeling v angry and frustrated as exp is lying to his solicitor - i have documentation to prove some of the lies so maybe that will help. am i fighting a losing battle?

If the contact with father is restricted why don't you offer more. Then maybe father will pay more. And both of you won't need to play these games

Sorry just read thar back and didn't mean it to sound harsh.

Just maintenance could vary over time depending on any changes to income.... So having to change budget could happen when parents are together or separated.

Backtracking is not good.

How much over CSA assessment is he suggesting in child maintenance?

£45 per week is £180 a month for lothes/activities/sundries - that sounds do-able to me (assuming you don't have a lot of children and assuming that's over and above essentials).

I have 2 dc. It was £45 over the barest essentials. Maybe it is doable I'm just very scared of unseen expenses I can't budget for.
I'm restricting contact one because the dc are very little and two for safety issues. Not to be difficult god knows I need the break!

I have been living off £150 a month for everything food/petrol etc etc. £45 a week is more than doable.

Take a look at what you are actually buying and I bet you spend money on stuff you don't really need.

I agree with Happy - it's inevitable that your standard of living will drop - the same income that you had when you were together is now being split between two households.

I really wouldn't rely on CM to pay for the roof over your head; even the most responsible and reliable NRP's are being made redundant and are unable to pay as much - resulting in hardship for two households

CSA would calculate a figure based on a % of his salary, regardless of your outgoings. If the figure is higher than this, good for you, suck it up. If it's less, I'd sit him down with the calculator and present him with the figures, or get CSA to do it on your behalf.

When I separated from my husband, it didn't even enter my mind to expect him to pay my living costs.

And whatever is agreed in the courts will just revert back to 20% of net salary after a year if your ex is savvy enough to know that is the case and request it via CSA.

It is completely shit but I would re-budget where you can and concentrate on getting to a point where you can cope without him (or rather with 205 of his net income). You don't want to be constantly fighting with him for scraps off of his plate.

Contact and maintenance shouldn't be attached to each other under any circumstances whatsoever, they are entirely differant things.

Presumably contact is being restricted because he's incapable of looking after DC or abusive and a danger to them: if that's the case then don't waste any more energy on thinking of ways to make him behave reasonably or decently, because he won't. He's not a reasonable or decent person. Work on ways to get the maximum amount of cash that he can be legally compelled to pay you, get it all formalized and then hunt for ways to increase your own income if possible. Best of luck.