newly single-access to baby?

[gemgem22]

Hi,
my husband and I have recently separated, we have a young baby. My husband has never cared for the baby in any real/practical sense, using the fact that he works full time as a reason for this. He has been verbally very aggressive to me and has smashed things in front of the baby. He has threatened to take the baby away from me.
He won't specify times when he will come and visit the baby and says he will come whenever he feels like it and I can't stop him.
I am so worried about the future, although I don't want to deny the baby the right to see their dad, I feel intimidated around him and am worried he will attack me verbally or possibly physically in front of the baby. I feel I just dont want to have anything to do with him and dont want him around the baby. I dread him being able to take the baby out on his own or overnight I don't feel he is really able to care properly but if I refuse I am scared of how he will react.
What can I do?

seek legal advice, immediately.

He cannot come whenever he wants to - in an ideal world contact should be either fixed or at least predictable and regular, and something that you both feel comfortable with. Your child has a right to see his or her parent - he does not have the right to use this contact as a way to intimidate or otherwise control your life.

document anything that makes you concerned about his behaviour and take this with you to the solicitor when you go for advice. I'd go to a family law specialist and make use of their free half hour of advice. Failing that go to the CAB, but really, a solicitor is better if you can get organised to go to one. If for no other reason than it will give you the confidence to state your boundaries to him properly.

Be assured that the law is about what a childs rights are re: contact. Parents (on both sides) come later.

I would want him only to have supervised access at a contact centre. How horrible of him. Please take legal advice. And well done on separating yourself from him!

Literally do not let him in. If he knocks on the door, tell him that you will call the police if he does not leave immediately, and then DO SO.

He is (borderline?) physically abusive if he is smashing things, especially in front of your child. It is intimidating and he flipping knows it. Of course he does.

He will NOT drop in 'when he feels like it'. He will show a bit of respect for his child as a person who needs to know where they stand. What does that mean anyway? In five minutes or in five months? It's all about control.

Are you renting a property or do you own it? If renting, is it a joint or sole tenancy? (Or feel free to PM me if you don't want to pop it all on this thread).

Take care of yourself, xx

Oh, or even better, talk it through with these lot. Very good advice line at women's aid 0808 2000 247.

www.womensaid.org.uk/