Mediation

[roseyposeysmum]

I have requested mediation for me and my ex to try and sort out issues regarding my daughter, i do not feel comfortable sitting down with just him as he loses his temper and threatens me with taking my dd away etc. He let me know that he has got the request and that he will not be going as he feels there is nothing to sort out. When we last spoke about my dd it as agreed that new partners etc would be something the other parent would be made aware of and when they started to stay over and became more involved again the other parent would be made aware. I have got my dd back and she has said his new gf has had a sleep over (after just 4 weeks) and she didn't like the new gf being there. I have never been told although it was agreed we would tell each other. This is one of the things i wanted mediation for so that something could be put in place as this is the 15 th ish gf in about a year.

I want to find out if there is anything i can do before i try and speak to him, i am going to find out about a free family clinic with a local soilcitor but just wondered what i can do if he continues to refuse mediation.

My ex has refused mediation but he is taking me to court for less than he is already getting. I don't think there is anything you can do if they refuse mediation but if it went to court the court can insist you both go on the parenting programme where he will learn a few things and in particular to you about introducing new partners.

I hope you are doing okay. It is hell thinking some other woman is playing happy families.

to be honest hehas had that many i can't keep up, i am fed up of my dd getting upset and him thinking he can do whatever he likes with her and not putting her first. Can i take him to court ?

Yes you can to try and establish a more consistent routine for your DD.

Even if you mediate, any agreement isn't binding - so your ex could say all the right things and not stick to any of them.

I doubt you'd get a CO through court restricting what happens when your DD is with him - unless there are grounds for supervised contact; has there ever been abuse, neglect or violence towards her that is evidenced?

There has never been any abuse but my dd is not happy about going to his house as he does this every month or so gets a new girlfriend they stay over my dd gets to know them then they are gone in a flash and it is back to square one.

I want him to know i mean business i am fed up of my dd coming second to whichever women he happens to be seeing at the time.

Sadly, I don't think there's a clause that could be written into a CO for that - if there was, I'm sure that there would be a lot applied for

A mediator would support you to get your POV across, but unless your ex is prepared to accept that what he is doing is damaging your DD, I don't think that there is any way that you can stop him.

How old is your DD? Can you speak to her school? They often have family support wokers who could at least help you support her even if her Dad is oblivious to the damage he's doing

she is 4 so is not at schhol yet but it has got to the point where he no longer has her during the week because she got so upset about leaving nursery to go home with him. I had to go and pick her up because she was in such a state. I have tried so many times telling him he is doing her damage but he says she should be happy that he is trying to get her a family (normally after about 2 or 3 weeks with a new gf). he just doesn't get it.