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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Cant afford the house :(

37 replies

Emmielu · 10/04/2012 14:29

i posted on here last week about asking if i should ring the landlord & see if i have the house, well i got the house :D

But now im going to have to say no to the house. My friend advised me to ring my local council for help with the deposit (£550) i rang them, they put me though to HB. HB said they will give me £499.98 for my rent, i have to put £50 towards it. I knew that anyway but had to note it down. I rang the housing officer back at my council & she said she wont help me with the deposit. For these reasons:

It needs to be commercial.
It needs to be substancial for me & dd. (It is i told her i had found this house, had a look, it is only 2 bed i know i wouldnt be able to afford more thats just stupid)
I need to be able to give her £40-£50 a month.
HB only pay for 40 weeks of the year so id only get £460 a month.
Therefore she suggested i ring the landlord & ask him if i can pay his deposit & rent for £500 only.
She also has to come & view the house & ensure via the landlord that it will be for a long term contract.

I said to her he knows i want it long term, he will put me on 6 months first to see how i get on because its my first house to move into, then if all is well & i can afford it still he will put me on a longer contract. She said call me back when the landlord puts it down to £500 or less.

I cant afford the deposit. What do i do? Should i say no to the house & look back on the council list? I've been on the council list for 3 years & theres been nothing for me in this town. I cant drive so going out of my town is out of the question as DD's school is here too. I honestly could cry right now.

OP posts:
LittleFrieda · 10/04/2012 14:30

Where do you live now?

Original poster
Emmielu · 10/04/2012 14:31

At my parents house. Its becoming rather crowded & im mostly home alone looking after their dog. DD hasnt had friends over cause its not my house & the dog gets over excited.

OP posts:
Mobly · 10/04/2012 15:06

Is your credit rating decent? Could you get an overdraft maybe?

Mobly · 10/04/2012 15:08

Carboot sale? Selling things in ebay? When's your birthday- could you ask people for money towards your deposit early?

Gumby · 10/04/2012 15:09

Can't you gather £500 together sonehow?

£250 overdraft or more?
eBay stuff
Borrow from your parents

whoyouare · 10/04/2012 16:08

A 2 bed is substancial?
If you can prove you can afford £50 a month then surely it should be ok?
Ask for your parents to go guarantor? There is such thing as a bond scheme where they help you out with this? Will help you with £499 and you find the remaining 50?
I dont understand why she has said no?

purpleroses · 10/04/2012 16:24

I think the council's schemes for lending deposits mainly work with specific landlords that they are used to working with - these landlords usually agree to offer at least a year's tenancy up front. So you may be getting stuck because you have found your own place instead - maybe go back to the council and see if they can help you find somewhere that is within the HB limit with a landlord they will lend you the deposit for?

Original poster
Emmielu · 10/04/2012 17:15

Turns out the only way they help me is if my parents make me & DD homeless! But even then I won't get the house I go into temporary housing that may not be near DD's school.

I'll take your advice ladies. Selling things it is. I have a laptop, clothes, shoes, books from my courses to sell. Thank you.BiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBear

OP posts:
Mobly · 10/04/2012 18:50

Most people have accumulated unwanted items that can be sold on eBay or at a carboot. It's better than asking people for handouts.

I am a single parent, know what it's like to struggle financially, there's no shame in selling things on eBay (especially no longer needed baby stuff).

What are all the biscuits for? Advice not what you wanted to hear?

Original poster
Emmielu · 10/04/2012 18:56

The biscuits are to say thanks for all the honest advice & support.

OP posts:
FamiliesShareGerms · 10/04/2012 18:56

Not sure what then biscuits are for....but how did you get that bear??

Hope eBay gives you the money you need

Original poster
Emmielu · 10/04/2012 19:44

is it bad to give out biscuits? i was on my ipod when i got the bear :S

so i've decided to sell, books, clothes, toys, shoes, my laptop, & perfume.

OP posts:
SuePoiblybilt · 10/04/2012 19:48

The biscuits aren't usually used in that way, that's all Grin

Good luck with it but do make sure you can afford it long-term (I didn't understand all the maths!) - it can be difficult making up the shortfall. I would ask the LL to reduce the rent - the housing officer should be able to help you negotiate.

Original poster
Emmielu · 10/04/2012 19:53

ooooh. how are the biscuits used? lol.

well the other housing officer i spoke to said that in order for them to help me pay deposit my parents would have to make me homeless. & even then the next step would be temporary accomodation which may not be near family, schools, travel etc. it could be in a b&b. Which means i definately will not be able to have the house.

OP posts:
Original poster
Emmielu · 10/04/2012 20:02

umm i need a hand with the ebay. i dont have a paypal account soo would it be easier to have the money paid to me by personal cheque? or postal order? it says other but to be honest i dont know what the "other" could be?

OP posts:
minimathsmouse · 10/04/2012 20:10

Hi, not terribly helpful are they. It is absurd to advise people to make themselves homeless and it is counter productive to put people into temp accommodation esp when councils have been told to cut back on temp accommodation.

On ebay the "other" usually refers to pay cash when you pick up but if you tick other you will need to state this in the listing so people know.

Original poster
Emmielu · 10/04/2012 20:17

Ooh paypal account would be easier wouldn't it.

OP posts:
Mobly · 10/04/2012 20:39

I think you have to offer payal so you definitely should set one up for eBay.

There is a whole help section on there & forum full of expert ebayers who will help you.

The biscuits are more like 'you are taking the biscuit!' ha ha. So your last sentence came across sarcastic rather than genuine.

Carboot might be quicker than eBay, can you raid your parents' loft?

Original poster
Emmielu · 10/04/2012 20:42

Oh god I honestly didn't know that about the biscuits sorry ladies! Is funny though now I look back on that!

Plan is post it on a group on facebook, ask around friends & eBay.

OP posts:
SoftKittyWarmKitty · 10/04/2012 21:53

I've never heard of HB only being paid for 40 weeks a year. Are you sure that's correct? I get a bit of HB (literally, a pittance) but I get it for 52 weeks of the year. Can you ring someone else to double check all the details she's told you?

Also, long shot I know but it could be worth telling the LL what the deal is and seeing if he'll reduce the rent slightly. Even £10 or £20 a month would help, I'm sure.

Original poster
Emmielu · 10/04/2012 22:27

SoftKittyWarmKitty - i thought the HB only 40 weeks a year was wrong too. So i rang the local council again, asked to speak to someone different & she told me that it was wrong too. In fact she gave me worse news! The first woman said i needed to ask the landlord to knock it down from 550 to 500 deposit & rent otherwise she wont put in an application for me. No way was i going to ring the landlord & ask for £50 off both! What a stupid idea is that! So i havent rung the landlord yet as i spent most of the day effing and blinding to my local council down the phone. Basically what i've now been told is i cant make MYSELF homeless because im inflicting it on myself & my child so they wont help me out there either. My parents have to make me homeless in order for my council to help me find my own place. The council have to come to my parents house so they can prove they have made me homeless. Council will then put me in the next avaliable place open, could be a b&b, could be a womans refuge could also be no where near DD's school, my family, friends, travel etc.

My mum cried when i told her in order to get help she'd have to make me & DD homeless. She said she has in no way or means have a reason to make us homeless, she knew i wanted to make this year the year i move out of the family home & she said all she wanted was for me to be able to do that & rely on the right professions for it. Now that cant really happen.

I have to see my lone parent advisor next tuesday, we dont get on. At all. When i see her, she gives me all the bad things. i.e. CSA will take money from you if you dont tell them where DD's dad is. If you get this job your daughter will be so proud of you & so proud to walk around saying "thats my mum!" DD is 5 & doesnt know the meaning of being proud for someone. When you move to JSA, if you havent found work by 8 months, we put you on a training course wherever in the UK & make you do 30 hours a week voluntary work where the first place comes up.

So as you may now get the point, i never look forward to it. Im reluctant to ask my advisor about help with deposit cause i know what she will say. She will say i have to ask my parents to make me homeless & be prepared to let the school know DD may not be attending there anymore. I dont want that.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 11/04/2012 08:19

Thing is, if you get a job now dd is at school then you may be able to save up enough to pay a deposit. Instead of f'ing & blinding you maybe need to rethink your attitude a little bit so that you & your daughter have the best chance in life. Not sure what you have to lose by asking the landlord to reduce the rent to 500 pounds?

ladydeedy · 11/04/2012 09:02

Are you looking for a job? If your DD is in school then I suggest that's the best way for you to get out of the situation you find yourself in. Your parents could help out by caring for her after/before school while you earn enough money to raise a deposit and then fund the house you want thereafter, in a more sustainable way.

AllShiney · 11/04/2012 09:09

I think you may have to let this house go and save up for a deposit if it's not an urgent case then they won't be very helpful as you have the time to plan and save.

We are waiting for an eviction order before they will help home us. It sucks but there will be people who are in a worse situation then you. They need to help them first really.

SuePB5318008 · 11/04/2012 09:40

Why can't you ask the LL for £50 off a month? Why is that such a bad idea?

And honestly - you need to look at the job route. As you know, they'll start making you after a while anyway. Why can't your DD be proud of you at 5? Mine understands what my job is and why I need to work.

You seem - just from what you've said - to be waiting for things to happen to you and getting worked up when they don't go the way you want. Instead of relying on the agencies you find unhelpful (cos that doesn't appear to be going well) - why not see if you can change things yourself - get some work or training if you possibly can. And tell the CSA where her father is - that's at least £20 pcm towards the £50 you're short.

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