Don't know what to do with myself when ds is at his dad's

[ProcrastinateWildly]

I know that lots of parents don't ever get a break, and I understand that if you don't I must sound really spoilt, but when ds is at his dad's, I find it really difficult to motivate myself to do all the things that I should be doing. I feel at a loose end, and end up on mumsnet for days hours. I could do all sorts of things that need to be done, I could go out with friends, I could visit people, but quite often I just waste all my child-free time. Does anyone know why, or have a similar problem. I would appreciate any advice or insight into this. Thanks in advance!

Is it a recent thing that you've got this time to yourself?

I used to be like this when I first started getting a break. It felt like the possibilities of what I could be doing were so enormous that it just overwhelmed me and I ended up just waiting to be back with my daughter. My Mum used to take my DD overnight on a Friday and I actually used to wake up on a Saturday morning and feel so lost that I would go and wait outside my Mum's house until I could see that they were up!

It took me a few months to get over the feeling of aimlessness. I get a few hours break on a Sunday now and I really look forward to it.

Hi, thanks for replying.
No, it's not a recent thing, we've been split up for nearly 2 years now. At first it was better really, because I used to go out drinking, but the novelty of that wore off, and I would rather be without the hangover. I'm also doing a college course now, so I spend a lot of time procrastinating when I should be working at that. I've also just realised I'm due on in about a week, so that could be contributing towards me feeling sluggish. I love being alone, but I just feel I waste loads of time when I could be doing loads of productive things. What do you do with your Sunday breaks?

I know exactly how you feel.

Have a whole week coming up and the most productive thing I'll do is go to the pub and do my voluntary work (I do this when my son is at school anyway).

I feel like I should do something, but am then blinded by my freedom.

Not helpful, but at least you're not on yer own, eh?

Maybe we should all get dogs or something? I obviously function better when I'm tied down than when I'm free for some reason
But yes, it is nice to know I'm not on my own

Yes, a dog! The chil(ren)'s father will alternate looking after it.

Or a broad bean plant.

Oh shit

I've got several houseplants, but they don't really require much input . Are broad bean plants different?

I usually fix up social things to do. Then I can motivate myself to get chores done, knowing I have something to look forward to later. Best to make the most of the opportunity to go out when you get it, I think. Or do daytime stuff like going for a walk, clothes shopping, coffee with friend, etc that's not so easy with a toddler in tow.

I did used to have an allotment that I spent quite a lot of time at, with and without the DCs. That certainly took a lot of input.

Thanks purpleroses, you're right, and I'm not going to let another child-free weekend pass by without getting out with friends. I ended up going round to my friend's house last night and feel a lot better now

When my dc are at their dads I make arrangements to go and see friends. I admit not much housework gets done on these weekends-but then it will always be there when they get back! It may sound selfish but, being a single mum, I do look forward to my 4 days a month being child free and I do try to make the most of it :)

I'm the same. I'm fortunate in that I get childfree time a few times a week for a couple of hours at a time, but I still find I sit on my arse
He takes the DC overnight on a Wednesday, so even if I wanted to actually do something, there isn't much in the way of anything to do on a frigging Wednesday night!

Tbh, I find I spend too much time sitting on my arse anyway, whether ds is there or not . There are a few reasons for this, and I am trying to address them, honest!