Nursery family projects

[eternalscot]

My DS is 4 and it appears every year his private nursery need to do a project on family this involves taking pictures in and discussion. It is only me and my son and we are both happy and content, until the nursery starts their project, when my son has to explain that his father ran off before he was born visited a few times and then nothing, not a birthday or Xmas card. Then my son comes home not wanting to go back (he's the only single parent family) and then asks me questions which I try and answer without causing upset, but it ofcourse causes me tears and I cannot understand why his dad behaved the way he has. Do they do all this nonsense at school as insensitively?

Your poor ds :( DD hasn't had to do this when she went to nursery (she's now at school) but maybe you could have a word with the nursery & explain how upset your ds gets & ask that dad isnt brought into the project & instead could he add nanny or grandad. Sadly absent dads aren't uncommon these days, same as absent mothers. X

I live in a very diverse area where there are lots of single parent families for various reasons, some parents are just not in the country for many reasons even though they are not separated. At school we have not come across any problems although I was told recently that someone had been told off for saying my DS had no Dad, DS unconcerned and clear on his position though. At nursery, fewer single parents (that I knew of), the only problem we had was an Easter Card that came home which someone had written in for DS 'to Mummy and Daddy'. I did mean to point out to the nursery that it was a bit insensitive but also did not want to dismiss DS's card so never mentioned it.

This really annoys me in this day and age. It's only been ds and me and with no grandparents or aunts and uncles, it's really difficult for a child to not feel "odd" when everyone else is getting out the family album.

I do have my mother who helps out but we don't see his father side of the family. The other annoying thing is being sent home a fathers day card every year for the last three year and I'm single and he has never met his dad!

I've had this at nursery and now at school. My dd is 6 and in y1, she is most upset that her dad doesn't live with her and that she doesn't have brothers or sisters. I would like to see just ONE book in the school's reading books or library where a child lives either with mum or with dad. My dd is fine with her position at home but every time I go into school, one kid or another says 'she's got no dad has she?' so it shows you how big an issue is being made of it. DD has now told the class her dad is dead (he isn't and she sees him regularly).

How awful for all these kids to be feeling like this! I honestly had no idea schools had such little input into this kind of thing. I feel lucky that so far DD hasnt had to deal with anything like that but you'd think the teachers will have more respect to explain to kids that some children dont have a dad they just live with their mum or vice versa. :(

It really depends on the school. My children's school are quite good at acknowledging the different family set ups and trying not to upset anyone.

A school I once worked, didn't even inform me that a child in my class (I was a TA) his Mother had passed away from cancer the year before. I had mentioned Mummy in every day conversation before. It took months before I found out and I felt awful.