Crap dad

[BellaTalbert]

I don't understand how my exp can't seem to be bothered with our dd. I say this because so far this year he has contacted her 3 times. The only reason that he has seen her this year is because i I took her to see him and he still tried getting out of seeing her. My ex lives 100 miles away which does make it difficult for him i do appreciate that but that is no excuse for not contacting her.

My dd is nearly 10 and she is starting to see that her father doesn't really bother much she has said as much to myself. Last week she asked me outright if he had paid her money (maintenance) to which i replied that he hadn't since last September she didn't look too impressed. btw i don't slag her dad off to her nor does she go without as i work 50 hours a week to ensure she has a great life. I just don't get it how he just doesn't bother.

You cannot get inside his head.
He is how he is.
Don't waste energy trying to understand him.

Try not to think about it. You may be better off without him in your lives. Concentrate on providing a happy loving home for your dd and she will be fine. I only saw my df a handful of times when I was younger and haven't seen or heard from him since - I've turned out just fine (even though I say so myself)

Do you know what I'm almost in the same situation and I guess looking at my situation, I might be wrong but.... what was he like with her when he was around?

Do you think he was very involved in her life? Or was he a lazy waste of space? I know there's no point in dwelling on each others faults after a break up, but if he actually was a bit crap, it could just be that she recognsed it?

The thing is when we were together he was fantastic. This started since he got married a couple of years ago. It was only a year ago when he kept asking dd about moving in with him although i think that he wanted that so that he could get a bigger place. I suppose that at the end of the day I can hold my head up in the knowledge that I do my best for my dd and he will have to face his demons later on.

Hi op, sorry, I do feel your emotional pain. Im in a similar position. It's heartbreaking but probably more for us than our children. All you can do is love your child and accept there is nothing you can do about the father. There are lots of good dads out there too, we re just unfortunate. Your child will love you so much for being such a great mum.