Someone please help

[bigshinydinosaur]

Background......my son has just started seeing his father. He is almost 6. His Dad got in touch via Facebook and has had him overnight last night for the first time. They are both getting on great and my son is really benefiting from it all.

I am not handling it very well at all. I am very anxious about the whole situation but can't quite pinpoint why I am. I have been messaging his Dad a lot each day either by text or via Facebook really long messages just pouring my heart out about why I'm
finding it so hard.

We had a chat yesterday when I dropped him off and I felt better for a while but then last night I had major anxiety and ended up phoning his Dad in tears and waffling on for about 15 minutes. After repeating himself several times he ended up saying he was going and saud goodbye.

I have no idea what my problem is at al. His Dad has answered all my questions and queries but I have no idea how to get rid of this huge anxiety/worry that I have.

Ruling my life at the moment and making me very miserable :-(

Aw bless you.
Im not sure I can help but I will say I feel exactly the same. For you its different though as you mentioned at the age of 6 your son has only just started seeing his dad. You are bound to feel ancious. Up until now has he not had any contact?

I know what you mean, not exactly the same situation but the first time my DD went to stay with her grandma on her dads side, I was so nervous and anxious that I ended up spending most of the night in tears and shaking!

My DD came back ok!! She had had a brilliant time and as long as your DS is still having fun and wants to go to his dads house I can't see an issue, other than yourself here (realise that could sound harsher than its meant to)

What I would suggest is to spend the timee your DS is with his dad doing something you need to get done, or spend some time with your friends or family and relax!!

Call once when your DS is with his dad (I know, sooo much easier said than done!) Limit it to around the normal home routine bed time and call, speak to your DS and have a hi, hello, bye, type conversation with your EX!

I hope this helps you in some ways, its not going to get rid of your anxiety but may help to relieve it!

Because he's your ex? And you've had a big break from seeing him but now that he's back around, you're not quite sure how to relate to him?

Because he left you/hurt you and you're frightened he'll do the same to DS?

Because you feel jealous of your DS having fun with someone else?

Because you're not used to being apart from your DS and it makes you anxious/lonely?

All completely natural ways to feel - I think you're right, if you can figure out why you're feeling so anxious, it might help you to be able to address it.

I would try and cut down on the messages to his dad - try to keep it to telling him what he needs to know about your DS, and ask him to keep you posted as to how he is (but only once a day or so). And try and find fun things to do when he's with his dad - go and visit a friend, have a night out, go shopping, whatever you like doing. I always miss my DC if I stay at home when they're with their dad, but very rarely if I go out.