Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

What do you do when you're ill?

25 replies

PaigeTurner · 22/03/2012 06:39

Last week I caught a flu type virus and my mum had to take a day off work to look after my 14mo DS. She made it clear she couldn't continue to do that and suggested I look for alternative arrangements.

I've been up all night with puking DS (that's another story as I have emetophobia) and wondering what to do if I get sick again.

Mother is abroad on holiday, I am in a new area with no friends to call on, also I asked a nanny agency if they did emergency cover and they said it was 2 weeks minimum term!

What do you do when ill?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 22/03/2012 07:33

Cope!! If you have no family then you just have to do the best you can. Have you any friends or neighbours that can maybe go to the shops for you? Stick the dvd on for your little one & try & rest while they play. Always have a bit of bread in the freezer & some snacky type food that ds will eat so you don't have to cook meals.

FateLovesTheFearless · 22/03/2012 07:43

Definitely the hardest part of being a lone parent. You just have to get on with it as best you can. My four dc and I have had endless colds since December and the vomiting bug twice. Forget about housework, get the tv on and rest where you can. All you can do.

blackeyedsusan · 22/03/2012 07:44

stick them in a safe place and let them play while I vomit. (requires a preprepaed safe place which is also useful when cooking tea.

ds came upstairs and played in his cot while I as being sick. it is not pleasant having small boys hitting your foot while you are throwing up into a bowl. he can no do a fantastic impression of someone being sick in a bowl Hmm

I have sat on dds bed holding her hair with one hand while she is sick in the bowl while holding the bucket to be sick in myself. synchronised vomitting! Hmm

paracetamol, ibrufrofen, decongestants are all in stock for colds/flu

have boxes of uht milk in stcok and food fo the dc's in case one of them comes down ith chicken pox or I am too ill to go shopping.

taxi fund in case I am too ill to drive.

PaigeTurner · 22/03/2012 08:08

Woah scary shit in some of your posts! I think I would just lie down and cry. I was hoping there'd be a magic hire a help agency who could come over in an emergency. Maybe I should start one? Single Parent Samaritans...

OP posts:
AMAZINWOMAN · 22/03/2012 08:33

Have stocks of paracetomol, cough medicine etc or whatever else you need in an emergency first aid box.

Always have "easy food" ready, meals that kids can help make. Cereal is easy for kids to do, sandwiches, microwave food etc

When you're well try and keep on top of the housework, so that when you're ill and you can't do anything it's not as daunting.

Kids know when their parents aren't well and they behave really well. They enjoy it when they can watch kids TV all day which they can't normally do!

Keep a list of phone numbers by the phone so kids can call someone.

BellaTalbert · 22/03/2012 10:04

unfortunately being a lone parent when you are ill you just have to cope. I agree with the other posters that its always a good idea to stock up. I suffer with debilitating migraines and have to cope best i can.

Propinquity · 22/03/2012 10:34

I wonder if Homestart could help in these circumstances?

www.home-start.org.uk/needsupport/need_support

Or like others say, you just have to cope. And you will, though it seems hopeless at the time. This thought used to petrify me when I lived alone up north with a newborn and knew no-one. I used to leave little boxes of food and drink at floor level around the house in case I was too ill to move or dropped dead.

Having panic boxes always ready is a good idea. ie One box that contains clean bedding, towels, wipes, clean babygros, Calpol, so they're all in one place to hand.

Keep some cash in the house, so if you are too ill to go out, if your neighbour will not help by getting some shopping in for you, you can always ring a taxi firm and they will bring some shopping for you. But honestly, neighbours should bea first call.

I had gastroenteritis one year with an 18month old. I could not get off the sofa for days I was so ill. But I crawled to the kitchen to get water and bananas for myself and my toddler was still breastfed then so she didn't go hungry. All her toys were everywhere, and we both just slept downstairs on the floor with cushions and blankets, I couldn't have made it up upstairs.

I made sure my phone was always charged just in case.

You get through it, even if you have older children, up about age 4 they will be fine sitting there watching telly all day, getting their own snacks out of a lower cupboard even. It might last a week, but you do get through it. You just go slowly through all the motions of changing nappies, getting everyone fed. I think Flu and gastroenteritis are pretty much the hardest ailments because of the debilitation, you literally can't move, so you crawl, you manage, you know?

Mothers are built for survival, our instinct to nurture our children kicks in, you may be feeling like hell, but your instinct will kick in and you will make sure they are safe, fed, occuppied regardless of how close to death's door you feel.

MissPricklePants · 22/03/2012 21:31

I ensure that I always have a full medicine box (paracetomol, calpol, dioralyte etc) and a stockpile of food in the freezer for those days when I am ill!I also just have to cope as I have nobody to help me out with dd. I always have change for a taxi just in case and phone fully charged for emergencies! Propinquity I'm going to steal the panic box idea!! OP it is just a case of coping, i recently had an awful sickness bug that dd had kindly passed on to me and I could barely move for the best part of 2 days and was so ill. DD spent that time watching dvds and eating snacks whilst i tried to rest!no magical suggestion to help you though OP.

FannyBazaar · 23/03/2012 21:44

I had a sick day recently and 'looked after' a friend's child to help her out of a sticky spot

Meglet · 23/03/2012 21:47

I have a stash of dvd's and toys picked up at NCT sales and bring them all out when I'm ill.

But my mum comes over to help too. My health is hanging by a thread and won't take much more!

FannyBazaar · 23/03/2012 21:57

Oops, posted too soon!

I did explain that I wasn't feeling too good and if I was out and about, would take friend's DC with us for the day, if not, if friend was happy with it, the two DC could play together at my place. As it was I was unable to stand up for more than a few minutes, pounding headache and constantly sick. The DCs played together, I gave suggestions as to what they could do next, they had some time in the garden, instructed them to put away toys before getting something else out etc, they told tales on each other which was like having CCTV in the next room so very handy on this occasion! Scratched together a very rough cold lunch and allowed them to treat themselves to all the little home made ice lollies in the freezer before watching a DVD together. Friend took my DS with her DC when she got back and sent him home after he'd had tea.

I have also had a 'fun' day off sick with DS once when he was about 3, it was in the middle of our holiday week where we had been doing fun activities and busy days. On that day, all I can remember is lying on the sofa giving him verbal assistance with jigsaws and some DVD watching. He loved the quite stay at home day as we rarely do that.

I have friends nearby that can help on the school run if needs be, milkman delivers the milk so never out of that, would order an online shop if need be.

I totally agree with keeping up with the housework though. If it's up to date when you get sick, it's a great help. Also teach DCs from a young age how to get a bowl of cereal ready or other simple food. Train them to pick up their own washing, clear their plates etc.

boredandrestless · 24/03/2012 20:34

Everything I could have posted already has been! Lots of good tips on here Smile. It's shit but you do just have to get through it as best you can.

honeysmummy1 · 24/03/2012 21:57

This has got to be one of the toughest parts of being a single parent. You just have to cope! Get your duvet down and watch a kiddy film with your little one and keep warm, take pain killers, fill up your hot water bottle, have a warm bath with your little one and nap when they nap. make sure you have enough food to last a few days so you dont have to keep running to the shop. if your able to, stay with your mum for a couple of days so you can rest as much as possible

seaofyou · 25/03/2012 17:30

I was so ill with flu I could not drive ds to school few months ago and ds missed 2 days. As ds has SNs I can't just have a sleep or let ds play as will put things in mouth and choke.
As school was 7 miles away I found out ds could have school transport. Which I arranged for next week and was better by then thankfully. I have to phone Social Services if I have to go into hospital and ds will go into short term foster care

Thank god that has not happened yet but my health isnt great as with all the stress of everything I have been through re ds education/autism/df abuse :(

girliefriend · 29/03/2012 21:04

I had flu a couple of weeks ago and it was the most ill I have felt since having dd, I literally passed out in front of her one night. I am fortunate to have my mum locally who helped out a fair bit. I also sorted out online shopping for the first time in my life which was a God send. I did send an SOS text out one morning to see if there were any other mums locally that could have taken dd to school and I am sad to say I got no replies Sad to be fair I understand that trying to get your own children to school on time in the morning is a mission!!!

lottysmum · 29/03/2012 21:45

Hi......have you thought about getting in touch with your local Gingerbread group if there is one....if not maybe starting one (go to GB site and see their forum). This way you can link up with other local single parents and you can all help each other out....

My DD is nearly 10 now so allot easier to look after herself and my neighbours have children in the same school so they would always help out ... plus I have
split care with dd's dad.

It is tough though I've had two really bad bouts of flu over the years ...try to keep yourself healthy if you can ...prevention is always better than cure...

thefroggy · 30/03/2012 00:24

Not much you can do really. I'f you're really flued up, cook something very simple and stick them in front of the tv. It wont damage them for life, nor will a messy house...it's more important that you get better.

slowginny · 30/03/2012 22:44

lottsmum I was just about to suggest the same!

If you can find some local GB parents, you can always call one of them (or all of them actually) for a bit of help. Other single parents are often just what you need because they know they can ask the favour back without feeling awkward.

PaigeTurner · 31/03/2012 08:00

Yes I kept meaning to contact gb, there is no group in my area though so would have to find the energy to start one.

Thanks for all the comments. I didn't get ill this time, so it's all good.

OP posts:
TeaTeaLotsOfTea · 31/03/2012 22:16

I am in this dilema at the moment.

I am going through cancer treatment at the moment.

If it wasn't for my auntie and friends I would have to call social services.

I feel for you OP. Have you no friends that you can repay the favour to when they need you to?

hallelujahheisrisen · 08/04/2012 16:02

ds is playing being sick in the bowl... watching mummy being sick obviously made quite an impression on him.. Hmm

BumptiousandBustly · 10/04/2012 08:46

There ARE agencies who will get you a nanny in an emergency - just phone round and find them. Its worth trying loads of different agencies.

boredandrestless · 10/04/2012 12:29

Yes there are agencies but I would imagine the majority of poorly single parents can't afford to go through a nanny agency. I contacted a local one recently as my son is autistic and I can't just leave him with a kindly neighbour or teenage babysitter so I was looking into what was available. The agency had an initial fee of £70, and that's before paying for the nanny!

A local childminder willing to work adhoc may be more of a possibility though.

saladsandwich · 10/04/2012 20:38

im going through this at the minute, i've had flu 6 days now, ds as started vomiting tonight with it and he can't keep anything down, i have no one to help... ex PIL's have taken him for a few hours but then kept ringing me so didn't get no sleep or rest and now ds is ill hes gonna have to stay here, he only wants his mummy... this is the only thing i hate about being a single parent :(

Andy6 · 14/04/2012 15:36

In my case just get on with it. I have two children and no help so no matter how ill I am I still have to take the children over to the childminder and collect them and do all the basics. Luckily, my 8 year old daughter is fab and is also a young carer so helps me look after her brother who has AD so needs constant watching. They both help out with the chores but help out even more if I am really ill. They are both able to do the washing, cleaning (everything really except cooking and ironing) by themselves. It is not easy but you just have to get on with it although I do worry what would happen if I was to go into hospital for anything.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread