CSA call?

[Emmielu]

I know I should have done this from day 1 but that was the past this is now.

My dad suggested to me that since I'm moving out I'll struggle with looking after DD with no child maintenance & that I should ring CSA & get DD's money coming in so I can at least feed her etc. Trouble with this is I've never asked or wanted money from ex & he's never wanted to see our DD. He's not on the birth certificate but once he starts paying (if I should say) would he automatically be able to have access to DD? DD is 5 & only saw him once when she was 2 weeks old. I still would rather not take anything from him but as my dad put it, it's helping me look after DD.

Paying maintenance doesn't entitle anyone to having access.

CSA had asked me about my ex husband ie where he lives etc so that he could pay maintenance. If I hadn't told them then I was at risk of losing some of my benifits. I had to by law tell them.

He turned around saying that I had gone back on a deal that we had made saying that if I didn't ask for maintence then he would stay away. He wanted access to his child. I made no such deal but I had to tell CSA cos of the law. I was told from CSA that he had no claim to access just because he paid money towards her.

I encouraged access but not based on the money he was providing. I wanted my daughter get to know her dad more as I thought it was important. I even waived the £6,000 he owed me so he wouldn't use that as an excuss to not being able to see her.

Unfortunatly I didn't know that he was abusing her. It all came out that she had been sexually abused for 2 years and I encouraged them seeing each other!

Bottom line is that he would have to apply for access if he wanted to see your child but he isn't automatically entitaled to it.

There are other legal ways to make ends meet. Getting a part time job or something.

Oh my goodness mumo3g, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to your DD. I hope she is okay - as okay as she can be, I guess :(

Emmielu, is there a reason you don't want your daughter to see her father?

Yes she is much better now that she isn't seeing her dad anymore. She's happier at school, more organised. She's going through adoption with her step dad.

Mumo3g I'm so pleased your daughters outcome is at it's best! All the luck for you!

It's not that I don't want him to it's that he's already said he doesn't want to. I still have the text saying he wants nothing to do with DD. I'd rather he saw her than gave money but he won't do either & I know he'd let her down. He's had chances before where I've been with DD at a park near him & he's not turned up even after me offering his travel fees he still said no.

In that case I wouldn't be worried that he would want to initiate contact. I'd contact CSA and get them onto the financial side of things.
If he then decides he does want to see her, well, give it a try, it could be great for all of you, your daughter especially.