new girlfriend on the scene.......causing trouble already.

[happyatlast]

Keeping it brief, my youngest daughters dad has got his first girlfriend since I threw him out in may last year. I'm 38 on weds, hes only 21 so this may be relevant....anyway I get a phone call last friday night at midnight from my ex saying "i'm just letting you know I'm seeing someone now...blah blah blah"....my reply was can we talk about this tomorrow please, you've woken me and our daughter up......he carried on talking asking would i let him take our daughter on holiday with his new girlfriend?? my reply was still the same...."can we talk about this when I am not half asleep?"...next minute she comes on the phone, his new girlfriend saying "hi i'm .......", so instinctively I said " woah, I so do not want to be talking to you right now, put ..... back on please", after which she put the phone down.

Fair enough I thought, and tried to go back to sleep, half an hour later ex rings again saying I was really disrespectful and I should apologise to her?? I said " its not going to happen, dont call me again tonight please", and I put the phone down.

Now, since then when he has our daughter, he cant answer the phone to me when shes there?? I was working yesterday and he had her overnight and I wanted to speak to my daughter on mothers day...but he would not answer the phone to me??

Just wanted an opinion really.....does anyone else think I was rude on the phone cos personally I'm thinking they were rather rude to call me at that time, knowing they'd wake me and our daughter and my other two children? I mean they might be sat up discussing their lifes plans but me I was dreaming about sharks biting my shoes?!!

nah you werent rude... but unless your dc with him and it might be something urgent then you have no reason at all to answer phone to him at all at any time. dont answer the phone in future..put on silent in night.

how old is dd?

She was 2 last month. It was an unknown number as he called me from her phone cos hes never got calling credit so I answered as i thought being middle of the night it must be important!!

Thanks for your opinion, I was beginning to think I was going mad, as when he called back a second time he was in a right strop shouting at me saying how rude I was to her, but i'm sorry when i started seeing someone else back in oct I didnt even tell my ex, only when he text me saying he still loved me and asked if there was a chance for us did I tell him, and then i just text him saying that I was seeing someone else, but even if I wasnt it wouldnt happen anyway but I think its inappropriate for me to continue this conversation because I am seeing someone else.

Seems to me like he couldnt wait to shove her down my throat.

as you said - hes only 21 . tho age is no relation to maturity

No he lives with a flat mate. The thing is he knows this bugs me because I had the same problem a few years ago with my middle childs dad, where he was having marital problems and there came a point where he switched his phone off at night when he had my son and not had my son so I couldnt contact him when he had my son or when he didnt have my son to tell him if my son was ill, so he knows it drives me crazy. Thats exactly what I said to him, I said what if I'd had a car accident or something god forbid and it was the police using my mobile to call you and you just dont answer cos your new girlfriend is there? I told him he needs to drum it into her head that there is nothing to be insecure about as far as am concerned, I just have to be able to have contact with him at all times really, when hes got my daughter and if for some reason hes ill, I mean if she became ill during the night and he cant answer the phone how am i to tell him shes ill??

They just dont think, I always have my phone on, and my phone never leaves my side when one of my kids is not with me, when I've got all my kids with me I usually put it on vibrate but when they are not with me its always to hand.

I dont know what to do to be honest, it just isnt sinking in with him, he listens buts its not going in, which is the main reason I threw him out, because when there was a problem he just used to sit there blankly like I was talking in spanish?!!