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which way do I go?

6 replies

gems77 · 18/03/2012 08:51

Im not sure what Im hoping by sending this post but thought Id give it a go any way!
Im a single parent of 3 girls. 16, 6 and 4.
Iv been separated about 18 months.
Just before my husband left I had enrolled on an access course to nursing, when he left I carried on and started the course not knowing how hard it was going to be.
It was difficult with 3 children and going to full time college and the access course is so intense with about 8 subjects, bringing home assignments every day, it was tough.
Anyway I fell behind and they kindly allowed me to restart the course again in the feb. I was so excited as I thought I wasnt going to complete it.
The feb came and I started again. I was also struggling money wise so found a job as a support worker, this would give me the best experience I needed to get into uni.
The work load became too much. The job wasnt giving me the hours to claim tax credits and I had to pay a childminder. I was never home, as I was trying to fit 16 hours call out time around the course.
I had to make a choice to leave the course to work extra hours as I was contracted to stay. I left the course which I felt very sad about.
Then the hours didnt increase, even when i begged for the work. I was paying out so much money in childcare and fuel. I worked for a further 6 months and left I paid out more than what was coming in they stopped my working tax as I wasnt getting 16 hours. Nightmare!
I found myself very low as I had a plan and it all seemed to of shattered within a year.
I want to work and I want to have a goal but it became just a blur and I felt so lonely and depressed. My marriage had failed and so had my goal of becoming a nurse.
I am now considering going back september to do my level 3 hairdressing as I did my level 2 before my youngest 2 were born.
People ask me about the nursing and I feel like Iv failed cos I was so determined to get there. The girls I went to college with are all at uni and doing placement. I try not to think about it too much but when I bmp in to one of them or someone asks me I feel embarrassed and quite sad.
The access course was very hard and Im not very accademic, but I know Id make a great nurse, people tell me.
I do think do I go for it again but I struggled with the work load and I struggled to get the grades. Its so hard! Its also hard to get into uni, also it would be a further 3 years in uni thats 4 years until I can work.
Do I just go back to doing what I do best which is hair? Also work within a year!
Do I just get it right out of my head now and think Im just not meant to be a nurse?
This post probably seems silly to alot but its something I cant talk to anyone else about. Maybe a little advice might help.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 18/03/2012 09:20

Have you looked into auxillary nursing as this doesn't require a degree & you would get paid

gems77 · 18/03/2012 11:31

I have yes but they like you to have experience in care which I have for a short time, but for these sort of jobs in my area so many people apply. People with more experience, younger, and more experience of being employed. I havnt worked for many years as I was bringing up the children etc.
Its not fantastic money either, half of what a nurse would get and Im a single parent needing to earn quite a reasonable income to be able to keep up with the mortgage ect.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 18/03/2012 13:23

I hope I am not coming across as too negative, but if you are struggling with the access course you will really struggle with the degree course.My friend held down a job & did the access course but is finding the midwifery that she started this year way more demanding.

gems77 · 18/03/2012 16:09

No not at all! I can imagine the degree being intense also but you go on placement with this and get a bursery so I wouldnt work also.
Iv had mixed views as some say the degree is less demanding than the access.
Maybe its not meant to be, its just horrible thinking Iv lost all views of which way Im going. I would love to of been a nurse/midwife. I just dont think Im academically able.

OP posts:
MatureUniStudent · 18/03/2012 16:23

You have got an awful lot on your plate. I know you don't want to wait, but perhaps you could wait, find work, get the girls more grown up and less dependant and then finish the access course? Work could be carer work or something healthcare related? What about looking at the 10 point Open university Courses which you could do whilst your DC's grow up?

I am doing my degree part time, precisely because I need to finish raising my 4 on my own. I hope to get my little one independant at the same time the most intense part of my post degree qualification begins. I will be in my early 50's when I qualify, but my family will be grown, independant and I will be able to, at last, concentrate on myself (with no guilt!)

gems77 · 18/03/2012 21:53

Well done to you!
When you say grown! As in how long? I am 35 this year and I know age shouldnt matter but I have no qualifications or experience for work. Its difficult to find work and even more so in my position.
A few people have said the same and said maybe wait! My youngest starts school sept and then is good a time as any dont you think?
Im not even sure Im able to do it! My teacher once said you could make anyone a doctor! Im not sure this is true?

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