Im not sure what Im hoping by sending this post but thought Id give it a go any way!
Im a single parent of 3 girls. 16, 6 and 4.
Iv been separated about 18 months.
Just before my husband left I had enrolled on an access course to nursing, when he left I carried on and started the course not knowing how hard it was going to be.
It was difficult with 3 children and going to full time college and the access course is so intense with about 8 subjects, bringing home assignments every day, it was tough.
Anyway I fell behind and they kindly allowed me to restart the course again in the feb. I was so excited as I thought I wasnt going to complete it.
The feb came and I started again. I was also struggling money wise so found a job as a support worker, this would give me the best experience I needed to get into uni.
The work load became too much. The job wasnt giving me the hours to claim tax credits and I had to pay a childminder. I was never home, as I was trying to fit 16 hours call out time around the course.
I had to make a choice to leave the course to work extra hours as I was contracted to stay. I left the course which I felt very sad about.
Then the hours didnt increase, even when i begged for the work. I was paying out so much money in childcare and fuel. I worked for a further 6 months and left I paid out more than what was coming in they stopped my working tax as I wasnt getting 16 hours. Nightmare!
I found myself very low as I had a plan and it all seemed to of shattered within a year.
I want to work and I want to have a goal but it became just a blur and I felt so lonely and depressed. My marriage had failed and so had my goal of becoming a nurse.
I am now considering going back september to do my level 3 hairdressing as I did my level 2 before my youngest 2 were born.
People ask me about the nursing and I feel like Iv failed cos I was so determined to get there. The girls I went to college with are all at uni and doing placement. I try not to think about it too much but when I bmp in to one of them or someone asks me I feel embarrassed and quite sad.
The access course was very hard and Im not very accademic, but I know Id make a great nurse, people tell me.
I do think do I go for it again but I struggled with the work load and I struggled to get the grades. Its so hard! Its also hard to get into uni, also it would be a further 3 years in uni thats 4 years until I can work.
Do I just go back to doing what I do best which is hair? Also work within a year!
Do I just get it right out of my head now and think Im just not meant to be a nurse?
This post probably seems silly to alot but its something I cant talk to anyone else about. Maybe a little advice might help.