Will it get easier?

[MummyOW]

Six months ago, my husband of 10 years had an affair and left me and our three children.

I am coming to terms with the fact that he is moving on and he still sees the children... but does the pain get any easier?

O x

I've not been in your shoes but I'd like to believe that it does. I guess some sayings have become cliches for a reason and 'time heals all wounds' is one example. It may leave a scar but even scars fade with time. Hang in there and allow yourself to go through what is invariably a grieving process.

'Better out than in' is another one :) so venting on here is a good outlet.

Hi mummy thats hard going. Its tough enough when no third party involved. Have just come out of 6yr relationship since start year so still early days. I find it can be very up and down, at times I think thankgod do not have to put up with all the rubbish anymore and feels like big relief. Then last weekend could not stop crying, missed my ds so much and felt comp lost on my own last sunday. Its like a big grieving process, I hope and pray gets easier in time or maybe we learn to adjust to a new way of living. I just have to keep on believing was better than the way I was living. Look after yourself well, plan nice things.

It took me a long time to get over my marriage breaking up, the first few months were very upsetting and a bit of a blur with me just focusing on surviving, getting myself back to work and coping with my DC. The big turning point was as the first anniversary of our separation came up and I started to think about where I was at in life and if this was going to be a permanent separation or was I still hoping that we would get back together. When I put some thought into the relationship and did some soul searching I realised how badly I had been treated by ex and that I really didn't want him back. From that moment on I was able to concentrate on being single, being me and being able to talk to people about it without regrets. I had actually kept quiet at work about being a single mum and had been very slow to tell all but the closest of friends.

I was married for 12 years, ex had an affair and probably others too. I threw him out but at the time hoped that he would make changes, go to counselling, become responsible etc.

It does get easier. I am perfectly happy now, a much stronger woman and more aware of what I want in life and going for it.

I was you six years ago. My partner had an affair and buggered off a few days before Christmas 2006. It hurt so much it stopped me in my tracks sometimes. It's humiliating and utterly horrible.

Give yourself a break, it's early days yet and things are raw

Believe me, it will stop hurting. It takes time though. It took a long while before I realised my feelings had changed.
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It does get easier. You will look back and think how did I cope. But cope you will, and you will become stronger for it.

I just had to work out when it was he left, at one time I probably knew the actual time he walked out. The horrid shock and pain will pass.

UnMumsnetty hugs to you.

XH left after 17 years together and 2 DC , I loved him in spite of many things .

Six months later I joined Mumsnet and check out my name