Advice please

[annieout]

Hi all, my heads in a complete mess right now. I've been in a crap, loveless relationship for 12 years and I want out. I've told him that I'm leaving him and we should sell the house and buy/rent 2 flats near each other etc. He's being very difficult and refusing to accept the situation, telling me that i am destroying him etc, even though he admits that he doesn't love me! We're not had sex in 5 years and have slept in separate bedrooms for 9 years! Anyway, I'm leaving. there's no way I am wasting another 12 years with him.
Now my worries are finantial ones. He earns a very decent wage his basic is 90k and he can earn up to 100k in bonuses per year. We have about £170k equity in the house. I don't work (well I do 2 days per week voluntary). What exactly am I entilted to? I want more than 50% of the equity from the house as he can easily afford to pay rent/mortgage but I can't! Do we have to split 50/50? Seems unfair to me. Also, how much of his wage am I entiltled to? Sorry if this is jumbled but I'm upset and havent got the energy to re-read. Thanks.

Annie, I think a lot of that depends on if you're married.

But honestly you'd get a much better response if you post in legal.

Sorry for your situation btw, it does sound like you're taking the first steps to a more fullfilling life but you need proper legal advice, and there are solicitors in legal.

Good luck.

Hi, no we're not married, but have two children together and both names on the mortgage. Thanks for responding.

if you are married any children get taken into account, if you're not married they don't so it's a 50/50 split legally but you can always ask

you aren't entitled to his wage but any DCs are entitled to maintainance

Mumsnet is not the right place to ask you need really good solicitors advice who will ensure that you and the children's interest are taken care off.....

Having been in a similar relationship ...well done for seeing the light...it took me a few years to get my head around the financial situation (although I had a good job and we were probably equal in terms of assets)......so take a step back out of the heat...get some good professional advice and then start to plan.....I know its hard to take the step back but if you clear your head of all the emotional nightmare it will make it easier to sort out the financial situation ....

What would you do with the equity ? How can you buy a plAce with no income.
Can you get a job?

Not married. TOLATA says 50 50 unless something says otherwise.
But then ther is children's act schedule 1 which means you could ask for some or all of his share to go intrust for children to house them til youngest finishes full time education.

But is also about your mortgage capacity unless you can buy something outright for 170 k .
It's complex.
You need to have idea of what you proposing to do with equity where to live etc who has dc and when etc
And what is your earning capacity if you get a job ?