"CAFCASS" report???

[7777777]

Just received a letter saying a cafcass reporter needs to prepare a report for court, any ideas anyone??

Have you seperated from your dh/dp and sharing access?

here this explains what they do

Is this to do with residence/custody for your kids following a split between you and an ex? If so they'll talk to you, your ex and kids separately and recommend arrangements to the court from there. Be friendly and honest about any conflicts between you and your ex but don't bad mouth him if you can help it. Unless there are issues of domestic violence be clear that you are supporting the relationship between your ex and the kids (even if this sticks in your craw.) Good luck.

i just found that pepper pot ta,scrummy mummy the situation is that we split when i was pregnant, he had access from 7weeks when ds was 13months (now 15half months), he was v.abusive so i stopped contact. my ds doesnt know him, has stopped maintenance, is flitting off abroad for his hols, lucky him and too be honest i want him to have nothing to do with us and leave us alone. i really cant see how ds is going to benefit from 1hour contact a month with a stranger in a contact centre and obviously i cant leave him there, poor thing

meant to say for 7weeks not from 7 weeks

my dp has been through this with his xp completley different situation to you tho. He had to go and sit in a horrible little contact centre just to spend an hour with his son . You can stay in the centre in the waiting room if you express your concern. There are also staff on hand at all times too hth

Message withdrawn

Right- well just tell the cafcass worker exactly that. S/he should be well attuned to domestic violence issues and will want to know exactly what happened. If you have evidence of the abuse- crime numbers, GP or Health visitors who can confirm that they offered you support- that might be helpful. Don't worry if you don't though. I would steer clear of focussing too much on why ds seeing your ex is a bad idea. They may well view the situation from the perspective that it would be ideal for ds to have a relationship with both parents and it might be more fruitful to explain the dangers your ex posed to you than dispute that.

Why don't you phone Women's Aid or the Lone Parent helpline?

You may be able to get someone to advocate for you. It is now established that an abusive parent is not a Good Thing for a child, and the NSPCC and Women's Aid have been successful in lobbying the family courts to actually take some notice of that when deciding contact arrangements. However, Cafcass etc. are still ignoring it, and you probably need to get some professional input to make them take notice.

hi mosschops, your poor daughter having to see him, i think its awful that shes made to see him.it doesnt sound like theyve done wots best for the child in your case does it. the letter ive got says that there will be delays with getting a cafcass officer so hopefully i wont have to go to court for a while

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

I think getting some advice is a great idea, as caligula says. It's really important that you come across as not wanting contact because he is a dangerous man and you believe this will affect ds negatively, if that is your opinion. Ds not liking contact with a stranger will not cut the mustard as they would be seeing that as the start of building up a good relationship with his dad. Supporting relationships with both parents is seen as a priority where possible so it may be helpful to start by thinking about why it is not possible and seeking specialist advice on proving that. E.g. if it's impossible because he is violent seek support from Refuge/Womens Aid.