My DP has agreed to go...

[Squeegle]

Things have been difficult for a long time (5 years+), my dp can be lovely, but he can also act abusively, and has a drink problem which means that he is not safe to be in charge of himself or the two DCs.

After a holiday last year when he was pissed every day I decided no more. He has at last agreed to go and has found himself somewhere to go. I am so relieved, but also so sad... I feel like I have been a foolish optimist for so long, hoping it will work and he'll get the help he needs for us to be a happy family.

But I guess I have been in co- dependent la la
Land, it was never going to happen unless something seriously changed.

But I'm scared now, and worried about the future- please someone who has been there tell me that it worked for you!

I can't offer any experience, but you will be okay, better than okay and there are loads of strong independent women on here!!

Thanks Posie !

You will be fine and better that your kids don't continue to see how destructive alcohol can be on a daily basis.

When my partner walked out and left me I thought I would never be happy. He left me in debt and struggling financially. 4 months later and I am much happier. Give it another 4 months and I expect I will be dancing and prancing around wondering why I was so upset about him leaving me.

As the child of a heavy and abusive drinker I can only say that, for your children, you have done the right thing. Well done. It is bound to be tough but keep repeating to yourself that you have done the right thing.

Thanks for your replies. The whole children angle worries me a lot, they are old enough (7 and 9) to know when he is drunk, and to know that it makes me angry and nervy, but they're not old enough to really get it, and for many reasons theyre the reason i have been trying to get it to work. But it is hard to hold it together sometimes when you have a partner intent on drinking himself to death nearby- and hard to detach when you have kids. The whole family thing is about trust, and as i have learned, where addictions are concerned then trust just flies out the door.