where is my dignity ?

[muppetlover]

My ex has completely ignored the fact that I have had his baby (she is now 6 months old). I own a house across the street from him. He was on holiday when I gave birth and has set up a direct debit for £25.00 a week to try and avoid the csa. I know I cannot force him to care. Tonight I was returning from the bus stop ( I have sold my car as can no longer afford it) with dd asleep in the buggy and there he was walking along the pavement towards me. He was hand in hand with a woman (different to the one he drove past with on tuesday). They were obviously out for a romantic stroll along the seafront at dusk. Anyway neither of us slowed down I just blurted out hello *** this is your daughter as we walked past. The OW looked shocked. What is wrong with me...why can I not have some dignity and just accept the situation. We live in a small seaside town and so being blanked by him and his family and friends is a regular occurence. I also feel so awful for my beautiful daughter that her dad and his family just dont care! I know she is better of without them but it still makes me feel crappy that her dad is behaving like such a loser :(

You poor thing. He sounds like a knob. Go to the CSA this is very unfair. Also I definitely don't blame you for saying what you did, that was mild compared to what he deserves.

Its a shame he lives so near you and you have to witness his lack of caring.

I think you showed plenty of dignity fwiw.

I think I would have said a lot worse than that! he sounds like such a tosser! It must be so hard for u having him so close to u too. I think I would find it hard not to throttle him! it seems that u r being as dignified as possible in this situation! Well done for being such a strong and great mummy! Xx

He is the one with no dignity, not you. Am worried about your MN name- is he the muppet?

Thanks for the support just needed to get it off my chest! ;) Clara my MN name is sort of reference to the muppet or a man song from the recent film.
I have examined my feelings towards my ex many times and although there was always strong physical attraction I definitely no longer love him. Love and hate are close emotions. He assaulted me when he was drunk last year and I was left with no choice but to call the police to get him to stop. He has never forgiven me. Two days later I found out I was pregnant. I have been on my own but with the help of some friends and family. I know lucky escape but it still hurts the way things have turned out. x

I get the feeling you will survive. You carried on with the pregnancy and did and are doing it all by yourself. I hope things are ok for you and dd, glad to hear you have some support too.

He is definatly a muppet! Go to the CSA and try and move to another road if you can.

Where is his dignity, more like! A cutting comment now and then is fine. Weeping and wailing in the street would be a bit more cringeworthy - although totally understandable. Posting dog shit through his letter box would probably be a step too far.

You sound like you are doing a great job. Ultimately he's the one missing out on being a part of your wonderful daughter's life. And for what? So he can shag around like an idiot teenager for a few more years? Not a great recipe for lifelong happiness.

You need distance. It's hard to be dignified when the person you haven't quite switched off feelings for - good or bad - is living across the street. To move on you need to spend plenty of time being yourself, well away from the person that has hurt you. (Death beats separation on that score.) If you're going to keep bumping into him you'll find it very difficult to get on with your life.