dcs first birthday today and I'm feeling blue!

[madam1mim]

its my little girls first birthday today and I am a newly single mummy. Although we are having a nice enough day it wasn't what I had planned. My xp was abusive and so it's good that I am rid of him but I can't help but feel down. I was going to have a big family party etc but now it is just me , my dd and my mum! Dd's dad doesn't seem to want to visit her today either... Please tell me it gets easier and we w I will be able to enjoy special occasions with just the two of us.

If it's any consolation my dd's first was pretty low key even when I was with her mum, at that age they obviously haven't grasped what's going on. Except of course that there is cake ! I think there were two other mums with dc and my dd's nana.

On my dd's second b'day it was party time ! And at that point it probably makes not a dot of difference if her her feckless dad isn't there as she'll have all her little friends there to keep her occupied.

I know it's sad if he's not there and it isn't what you wanted. But as long as your dd is happy and has lovely friends and mummy around, that's what matters.

Yep, try to feel proud that you've survive a year of motherhood - take comfort in all you've achieved and learnt about parenting and be assured that future birthdays will be chaotic and busy. For now I'd just congratulate yourself as much as your baby, it's a long haul that first year, and it should gradually get easier now - especially wrt your personal life - if you've escaped an abusive relationship you can focus on making a happy future for you and your child.

Enjoy this precious amazing day with your child, and as lego said it should be marked as a celebration of all you have endured and survived!. Just take a deep breath and say thankgod all that is behind you with so much better to look forward to for the future. Enjoy!

thank you everyone :) it has been a nice day and I just hope that this time next year I will be so much stronger and not give my ex a thought! I cannot believe he hasn't seen her on her first birthday but it is his loss, one day he may realise..or perhaps not! Enough of him now, happy birthday to my baby girl! Xxx

Don't feel down. You can look at your lovely daughter and, quite legitimately, think 'all my own work'. The next year will be much easier because she'll be a little older, walking, talking and you'll be feeling more confident in your abilities as an independent woman. If ex doesn't want to be around that sounds like a good thing to me. Maybe set yourself a target for this time next year to have a big party with all the new friends you're going to make. :)