Yes- a Christmas thread already...

[washingonawednesday]

Ex informed me this morning he wants our son for Christmas this year. He'll be just 2 at Christmas. Ex left for ow when he was 4 months old.

Do we have to share Christmas equally? We live at opposite ends of the country so no scope for morning with me and afternoon with him.

I feel really resentful that I get all the shit of lone parenting all year (he sees him eow) and then he sweeps in to enjoy the fun time.

How do you work it? I'm not trying to limit access as he's already had him for 9 days this year as a holiday, but I love Christmas!

Difficult one. Especially since the choice to split was his, so a bit of me thinks he should deal with difficulties arising from this while the split is still relatively recent.
When your son is older you'll probably have to get on with it and share Christmases, but you might be able to suggest you have him this year as he is still so little and the choice to split was your husband's! I think I would try a letter saying that you didn't choose this sad situation and that while he is still so young you want him to spend next Christmas with you, but that he can spend Boxing day with his dad. From next year you will spend alternate Christmases with him.
You might find you need to compromise though if he insists, because annoying as it seems in your situation, sharing Christmases is fair really. You can probably make a lovely second Christmas day out of Boxing day and he won't know the difference!

My ex and I split under fairly acrimonious circumstances, but we have agreed to share Christmases and holidays.

I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry for your situation.

We had this too but luckily we live close together so we could always share and i have always maintained that i will never have a Christmas without DD (not expecting him to either.

Could he come and stay nearby and you spend some time together?

I personally would actually quite like a Christmas Day without both DC. Please do not get me wrong but it might be nice just to have a duvet day after all the rushing about to get gifts etc, and the ExH would actually want to see his children.

Alas, hell is more likely to freeze over than him wishing to be an active part of his children's lives. So basically my point is make is a pamper or relaxing day for yourself, have a mini Christmas with your child a day or two before his goes so you do not feel like you have lost out, and be happy that his father wants to see him.

Well on the plus side he is giving you a lot of notice! Also you mention he sees your son every other weekend and has already had him for 9 days holiday this year so I think that's pretty hands on in the scheme of things and something that should really be encouraged and supported as your son grows older.
Obviously you are hurt that he left. However, that is in the past. He appears to be doing a share of the parenting from what you say, given the fact that he lives a long way away.
If you can, look at it positively and make plans to have a lovely Christmas yourself, especially if you love it so much. You have months to plan and save to do something nice if you wish to.