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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

I just love being on benefit, its wonderful.

48 replies

SoFedUp · 30/01/2006 17:14

[sarcasm]
Ive just been on to the job centre for a calculation. ive applied for several jobs, one which was really quite well paid for what I do. here I was, full of hope until the nice man told me I would be precisely £30 better off a week for my efforts. I wouldn?t get a job grant apparently because it hasn?t yet been a year since I had the last one. I already know how badly these things can go because I had this all last year. im not being greedy wanting the job grant, I know I will need it. I got back into work after being made redundant and the inland revenue took three months to pay me what I was due in tax credits (inc childcare), by which time I was in serious debt. some other bills had to wait so I could pay for my childcare to keep me in work. (I figured it would be ok once it was all sorted out, if i could just keep my job). then of course I had to be made redundant again didn?t I? that was fun. I cant work full time because I don?t have the means to get one child to school, another to nursery, get two buses to work, two back and pick up the toddler from nursery. Simply this, there are not enough hours in the day.

I am NOT lazy. i don?t like being on benefit and I cant afford it. but right now I cant see any other way. im in tears, I have the flu from hell, my house looks like a tip etc etc. and I cant cope!! Ive been to college and gained 6 qualifications in the last year?and what for exactly? Why bloody bother.

Its like banging my head against a wall. Here I am trying so hard to get another job and having to see people constantly slagging off people like me, single mothers on benefit. oh if only they knew.

Sorry for the name change, just ive been ranting away to friends and don?t want them to know my normal posting name, should they ever come here. If anyone can tell me how to get out of this?then you are a miracle worker.

cant stop crying.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

UCM · 31/01/2006 22:35

I will stay out of this topic otherwise I will be unpopular.

7777777 · 31/01/2006 22:42

why ucm?

zenia · 31/01/2006 22:45

Sorry I really have no advice, It must be soooo hard on your own, I don't think I would want towork for £30 a week, but maybe if you took the job you would be happier as it would give you more of a social life etc; don't feel you have to, no-one who isn't a single parent can know how hard it is, you must do what is right for you and your kids. I wish you the best of luck.

hoolagirl · 31/01/2006 22:45

Hey sofedup, try and stay positive and use this time to be with your family until your youngest is also in school and then maybe it would be worth your while to start looking. Maybe you could do some voluntary work to get you some 'adult' time that fits around the wee one's nursery for the time being.

zenia · 31/01/2006 22:47

Don't ask why, I sense UCM will start an argument.

UCM · 31/01/2006 22:53

Nope, not at all.

UCM · 31/01/2006 22:57

I am saddened that the majority of people can't get the help that they need.

littlelamb · 01/02/2006 19:14

Cyan, thanks for the lovely message of support. It's great that you're better off now. My uni is fab, and I have applied to the access to learning fund almost every term and they always give me something (it's there for people like us after all). The more I think about the classification of my loan the more angry I become. It seems such an issue of sexism and inequality, not to mention sheer lunacy. I have heard from dd's father for the first time in months, and he says he has no money to send us as all the money he easrned in summer has paid back his loan for the year. Maybe I am totally unreasonable, but that is a hugely selfish act in my opinion. According to him he only had four days off the whole summer, which equates to a lot of pennies, but he doesn't send us a thing, yet insists he really does care!? It's rubbish that I will end up at least 12 grand in debt when it seems he will graduate and break even. I don't begrudge his hard work, just his attitude and the system that allows it On the brightside though, I spoke to my tutor today who hinted that I might get a first, so nah nah to him!

7777777 · 01/02/2006 19:52

well done littlelamb on your tutors comments.

at least when your ex finishes uni and is debt free and gets a really well paid job you can then sting him for heaps of maintenance, he wont be able to say he hasnt got any money then!!

cyan · 02/02/2006 09:53

littlelamb thats fab!!! keep at the hard work! good that you get something from the ALF or whatever it is!! Which uni do you go to and what are you studying? If you are doing English Literature than I have plenty of book etc that you can have!!! Im trying to get rid of them now! Just keep on working hard which it appears you're doing. It will all pay off in the end, and likes 7s says you can sting him when you graduate. SPend the time concentrating on your studies, I know it's hard because money can get you really down. I went through it all this time last year, I was juggling dissertations, Freud, and Frankenstein with the prospect of having nowhere to live at one point. Stay strong and don't let him grind you down. Not only will you have come out of this with a great degree, but a beautiful child.

littlelamb · 05/02/2006 21:32

Cyan, sorry for the late reply, I have been offline for days! Actually, I AM studying English lit, but I'm in my final semester now so don't need any more books. Thanks for the offer though What did you do after graduation? I think I have missed the deadline for applying for the PGCE course I wanted and now I am lost. I am worrying myself silly because on thursday someone from the council is coming round for a benefit verification visit and I'm scared they'll mess up my claim just like they did in the summer, when I had to sell virtually everything I owned (no exaggeration ) to pay my rent because they couldn't get their heads around me being a parent and a student. I don't know why I am so terrified of these people, they make me want to apologise for being so awkward

joash · 05/02/2006 21:36

My sister has been on benefits for the past 26 years. Why does no-one try getting her off her butt and into work. God I sound like such a bitch - but there's nothing wrong with her, her kids are grown up, she's continued to claim whilst living with her three previous partners (all who worked and earned bloody good money) and about 8 years ago she was sent a giro for money that she wasn't expecting. It took her about a dozen phone calls to find out what this extra money was for and she was told that it included 'back' money from a rise she was due to for being a long-term claimant (and I saw the letter they sent confirming this - she still has it.

7777777 · 05/02/2006 21:49

bloody hell a payrise for being on the dole!youre not being a bitch at all, if it was my sis id be well cheesed off with her.

shes prob been out of work so long now that she cant get that ooomph to get into work. my SIL moans to my bruv about money ALL the time, he works really hard 6 days a week.all the kids are at school and i suggested that she got a little job so sh'd have some pocket money for herself/kids but she always makes excuses, like "oh when ds is at secondary school"

pretty lame i think. some people just dont wana work.

joash · 05/02/2006 22:07

One of her MIL's gave her two different jobs, I gave her a job and offered her others, a friend of mine offered her a job - all without having to go through the usual application rigmaroles (can't spell) and she walked away from everyone. Pisses me off (scuse the language)

joash · 05/02/2006 22:08

THERE - thats my rant for the week over and done with

7777777 · 05/02/2006 22:11

its good to have a rant joash, bet you feel better now

joash · 05/02/2006 22:12

I most serpently does...

joash · 05/02/2006 22:12

BTW - I meant that I can't spell - not my sister

7777777 · 05/02/2006 22:14

wondered wot the serpent thing was?thought it was a hidden joke that id misd!

joash · 05/02/2006 22:16

It's remained a family thing. Youngest DD used to say it cause she couldn't say certainly - one of those daft annoying things that just confirms to people who don't know what I'm talking about - that I am in fact quite MAD

7777777 · 05/02/2006 22:20

nothing wrong with being mad!

joash · 05/02/2006 22:24

cyan · 07/02/2006 21:44

hi littlelamb, when i graduated i took some time out which im still doing, wanted to spend at least a year with myds before going back to work/finding a job. have done some freelance work for publications as its something i want to get into but like yourself have also considered pgce (went for interview yesterday). which uni are you at? keep working hard its all going to pay off in the end. as for thursday try not and get too worked up, i have my fingers crossed for you. it does piss me off when genuine people need help from the state, who then make it so difficult for people to get benefits and then you have the a*seholes who take the system for the ride and milk it and get away with it.
take care x

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