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Please can you help me help my friend (money/benefits question)

11 replies

naturelover · 05/03/2012 10:02

A friend of mine is pregnant with her first child (father not around at all). Where is the best place for her to find out about benefits? She plans to work part-time (3 or 4 days) but the childcare costs are completely unaffordable on her salary. I don't know how much she earns but I'm guessing £30-35K gross annual. This is a decent salary but she's in London and so she's looking at £75 a day approx for nursery and her rent is nearly £800 a month. Even I can see that the sums don't add up! I know her salary won't qualify as low by any stretch, but is she likely to be able to claim any benefits at all? If not then I can't see how she will survive.

Any tips most welcome. Thanks.

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purpleroses · 05/03/2012 10:15

She can get tax credits. They will pay 70% of her childcare costs. On the salary she's on that's probably about all they'll pay, but if her salary reduces then they'll also give her a bit to live off. £75 a day for nursary sounds v high - could she find a childminder for a bit less?

There's a calculator to find out what she can get online, or you can phone their helpline.

She can also get child support from the child's dad as long as she knows who he is and can give details to the CSA.

ChocHobNob · 05/03/2012 11:21

Tax credit thresholds change in April. A household with 1 child and earning over £26,000 will not qualify for any tax credits unless they have childcare costs, then the upper threshold is a bit higher but I'm not sure how high. Best to ring tax credits themselves and ask.

On that income, she wouldn't be entitled to much. Single rate council tax and child benefit would probably be all.

What about child maintenance from the father. Even if he isn't on the scene he can still be asked to contribute.

naturelover · 05/03/2012 12:37

Thank you so much, that is already very helpful.
Can I ask how the CSA assesses how much money to ask the father to pay? Is it based on his income? He has other children to support and doesn't earn very much, so I suppose that makes it even more complicated. Does he have to be named on the birth certificate for her to claim? She is undecided about whether she will name him on the birth certificate at this point. Any tips on this would also be welcome. Thanks very much.

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MrGin · 05/03/2012 13:08

CSA is based on net income. 15% for one child, 20% for two. There are many stories on MN about how a self employed father avoids payment due to ambiguity and deceit about earnings.

But yes, if he has other children to support I think the figure goes down. There is a calculator on the CSA website I believe.

As for the birth cirt. I'm guessing you can claim without his name on the BC only as long as he agrees he's the father. If he contests being the dad, and he's not on the BC a DNA test is required.

But you say the father is 'not around at all' so it might be tricky.

naturelover · 05/03/2012 13:18

Thank you.
Another question re birth certificate: is there a chance that if his name is on the birth certificate he could claim custody at some point?
My friend says the CSA calculator isn't working right now but she'll try it later.
The dad is self-employed, so I think it will be hard to get any money out of him.

OP posts:
workshy · 05/03/2012 13:24

he has to agree to be on the birth certificate, your friend ca not just name him without his consent if they aren't married

I earn 26k with 2 children and do not qualify for the childcare element of tax credits however I do get child tax credits of £118 a month -but I work full time so get the 30hrs plus element

tax credits are increddibly confusing and hard to advise, she really does need to contact them directly

MrGin · 05/03/2012 13:34

Well, he is the dad right ? Even if he wasn't on the BC a DNA test would confirm him as the father and give him parental responsibility.

The child does have a right to know and see their father. It's well researched that a child from a split relationship who doesn't see one of the parents is likely to suffer negative behavioural problems and low self esteem.

Assuming the child is going to live and be cared for by your friend, the father won't just be able to bowl up and demand custody out of the blue. Although he will have a case to gain access to his child. It is his child too after all, and the child does have half-brothers / sisters.

So if he's likely to want access to the child, or custody, a DNA test will make the decision about putting him on the BC or not irrelevant. But nobody is going to take a child from their primary carer and put them with someone they barely know.

If the mother died for some reason then there would be a case for the father to take the child on.

purpleroses · 05/03/2012 16:57

MrGin's not quite right here - the father won't get parental responsibility just from a DNA test. If he is not named on the birth certificate he'd have to go to court to get it as the default would be that only the mum would have it.

This is all entirely separate to claiming Child Support which your friend can do as long as he admits he is the father, or if he doesn't via a DNA test to prove it. He doesn't have to have parental responsibility to be obliged to pay, or vice versa.

But it is correct that the father can't just apply for custody even if he as PR. He'd be v unlikely to get sole custody or main residency of a newborn baby - unless your friend is quite incapable of looking after it - but would be able to apply for access. He can do this whether or not she names him on the birth certificate, though she might make it slightly more complicated for him is she doesn't.

scattered · 06/03/2012 09:54

Can I suggest here:www.turn2us.org.uk/ This is a very good website for information on benefits- the childcare element is only awarded with working tax credit and she will not be eligible with that income but there may currently be entitlement to a small amount of child tax credit.

Also, www.cmoptions.org is very helpful in exploring options for child maintenance and includes a calculator and free helpline. HTH

ChocHobNob · 06/03/2012 10:00

Tax credits income thresholds are all changing in April and the current calculators do not represent the changes.

sunshineandbooks · 06/03/2012 11:52

You don't get 70% of childcare paid just because you're a lone parent. It's still salary dependent. As soon as you start earning more than NMW the percentage is reduced.

I managed to put two through full-time childcare on an income of about £32,000. It was desperately hard at times and has left me hungry and without the means to pay for necessary dental care and replacement glasses. But I managed. With one child, your friend should manage a little better. IT won't be easy, particularly in London, but it should be do-able, especially if she can come to an arrangement with another parent or if she can get some maintenance.

She should definitely go for maintenance, since the child has a right to it. She doesn't need to name the father on the BC for that. If she chooses not to name him he can apply for PR via court and would almost certainly be granted it; the question is whether he would bother or not. If he's a lazy arse or a controlling type it may be best to leave him off since the extra steps he would need to take would give her time to counter his moves. Why is he not around? If he doesn't want to be, don't name him and let him apply for PR if he can be bothered. If it's because he doesn't know about the baby though, she really ought to tell him. He should not be denied the chance to know his child since it's actually about the child's right to know both parents rather than his rights over the child IYSWIM. He may actually step up to the mark.

Lastly, just because children whose parents are separated have a greater likelihood of less successful outcomes in life, does NOT mean that this is a sure thing. THe biggest effect comes when the parents separate. Understandably there is a lot of change and often a lot of bad behaviour at this time. This is what does the damage, NOT the parents being split up. Things usually settle down in time. The fact that the relationship is over before the child is even born means all this has been circumvented. Once things are stable, if you factor in income and education, the differences between children whose parents are still together and children from 'broken homes' (stupid phrase) are negligible.

Finally, the relationship with the NRP is open to debate. It's not quite as simple as contact is good, non-contact is bad. Recent research shows that sporadic unreliable contact is as damaging as no contact at all. And children who are brought up in otherwise loving households with healthy relationships with several adults (e.g. extended family) do NOT usually suffer from behavioural problems or low self-esteem if there is no father around. It is a lot more complex than that. Children from families in which there is no father figure are statistically more likely to be living in poverty and social deprivation, which skews the figures.

Rejection is the main issue, which IMO is why poor contact is worse than none at all as it is a continued form of rejection over and over again. Where a lot of parents with crappy XPs go wrong however, is trying to eradicate the NRP from the picture even when contact is non-existent. A child has a natural curiosity about his or her parentage and this curiosity should be satisfied. It is important to find positive and neutral qualities and characteristics to latch on to so the child doesn't feel ashamed or apologetic for half its inheritance. This isn't always easy but it does not mean lying or covering up for bad behaviour. Little things like "your dad was always good at maths" or "yes, your dad's favourite crisps were salt and vinegar too" can make all the difference and help give a child a sense of identity.

I wish your friend all the best.

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