Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Flip

Original poster

babys father

20 replies

ellie19 · 03/03/2012 17:34

my daughter s 1 and me and her dad have been split up since she was 7 months, he sees her for 2 hours wednesday n friday evening, and has her overnight on a saturday, though feel it snt enough quality tme and have asked him to have her friday till sunday every other weekend but he doesnt want to. he s also abusve towards me and have told people that am takng drugs which i would never do. the drop off is always horrble as 1 way or another he will have a go. he droped her off the other day and said he ddnt feed her and also does not change her nappy! what can i do? and i feel bringnh her home half hour b4 she goes to bed is not right 5 tll 7 on wednesday n friday ?

OP posts:

hathorinareddress · 03/03/2012 17:39

Is the access stipulated by the court? Does he have parental responsibility?

I find your post hard to understand, but am I right in thinking he has her from 5-7 every Wednesday and Friday evening, and then overnight on a Saturday?

What exactly would you like to do? I'm unsure of exactly what the issue is?

Is it that he has her too much? Too little? Is that he's dropping her back too late for bedtime?

LilacWaltz · 03/03/2012 17:39

Third party handover?

MagicHouse · 03/03/2012 17:44

I don't really understand why you want your daughter to spend more time with a man who doesn't feed or change her? I would be arguing for less or supervised contact, not more.

Original poster

ellie19 · 03/03/2012 17:47

he has her too late on a wednesday and a friday whch i thnk is too late, have said about him having her every other weekend but he says he doesnt have any spare time but he is off on a friday saturday and sunday . and works 9 till 5 every other day. i find it hard to understand y he wouldnt want to spend more time with her as i hate being away from her. also he has said he is taking me to court because he thinks i take drugs which i definetley dont.i think he s just jelous that i am in a relationship .

OP posts:

Original poster

ellie19 · 03/03/2012 17:50

it just anoys me that he wouldnt want to do spend more time wth her, and it was just the 1nce with the nappy and food,

OP posts:

LilacWaltz · 03/03/2012 17:51

Op, you sound rather confused

How is your daughter when she comes back? Does she seem happy to go with him?

hathorinareddress · 03/03/2012 17:51

What exactly would you like?

Is the access arrangement as it stands stipulated by the court?

LilacWaltz · 03/03/2012 17:52

He works til 5 and then takes her from 5 too? He deserves a medal!

Original poster

ellie19 · 03/03/2012 17:52

she is very quiet which is not like her atall, she also cries when i drop her off. though im not doubting him because i know he plays with her and loves her very much

OP posts:

Original poster

ellie19 · 03/03/2012 17:53

he works till 4 has her at 5 till 7 though his parents r there too help,

OP posts:

hathorinareddress · 03/03/2012 17:55

Does he work until 5 or 4? 9-4 is a very short working day.

Original poster

ellie19 · 03/03/2012 17:55

the man problem is that when he drops her off or picks her up he is hurtfull and shouts or has a o nfront of neighbours and my daughter , told him he is not to come to my house i will drop her off but he said he can come n go as he pleases

OP posts:

Original poster

ellie19 · 03/03/2012 17:56

till 4 .

OP posts:

hathorinareddress · 03/03/2012 17:57

I'm sorry I'm struggling to follow your posts - is it possible that you could type full words rather than using txtspk, as it makes it hard to make sense of what you are saying.

Is the access stipulated by the court?

Original poster

ellie19 · 03/03/2012 17:58

sorry keys are hard to type, no its not stipulated by the courts

OP posts:

LilacWaltz · 03/03/2012 17:59

Use his parents as third party drop off/collect? So you don't have to speak to him

hathorinareddress · 03/03/2012 18:03

I agree with Lilac - go with drop off pick up at his parents and then you wouldn't have to speak to him.

If he doesn't want that, tell him to take it to court and get the court to stipulate the access arrangements.

LilacWaltz · 03/03/2012 18:08

Also op, keep a written diary of his behaviour. But please, write it out properly in case court or cafcass need to read it

ballstoit · 03/03/2012 18:09

To be honest, when DD is so little, I think it makes more sense for him to stick with the contact he is having. Better to see her 3 times a week for a shorter time, than have her for a whole weekend less often. Perhaps he feels you are trying to limit his contact by reducing it to once a fortnight. I wouldn't be too concerned about DD crying when she's dropped off either, it's normal for children of this age to be a little upset when leaving their main carer. Mine cried when I left them with anyone at that age.

The issue of arguing at pick up/drop off clearly needs to be sorted out...could you drop DD off to his parents without seeing him? Or get a friend to be at your house and do the handover? Or could his parents drop her back to you?

WibblyBibble · 03/03/2012 21:03

Pretty much exactly what ballstoit said. If you don't have someone who can do handovers then do them somewhere public e.g. a cafe so he can't act like a twat (had to do this for a while with my ex as he took it upon himself to try and barge into my house and criticise everthing).

Flip