Should i insist my children stay for the weekend at their fathers?

[jasmineandrews]

Advice please. I have been separated from my husband for over a year, my children see their dad on Sundays for a few hours. This weekend we had arranged for them to stay over night for the first time for the whole weekend as he has now moved closer (only 45 mins away as a posed to the 2 1/2 hr drive when he left). I have been trying to encourage him to be more involved and want to have them over night. Finally he has agreed however now my daughter is saying she isn't ready to stay over night and doesn't want to go (crying and sobbing uncontrollably) . She is nearly 7 and isn't able to explain why she doesn't want to go. My 5 yr old is saying if her sister isn't going then neither is she. What should I do? I'm supposed to be dropping them off tonight? I don't want to see them so upset and don't want to estrange their Dad even further, I wanted to encourage their relationship.
Has anyone been in the same situation? Really do't know what to do for the best.

Personally I wouldn't force it. Give them time to get used to having him living closer and being able to see him more frequently then take it from there.

Thanks but unfortunately he doesn't want to see them more frequently. I have told her if she doesn't like it she can come home and she seems happier with that.

That's fair enough, at least she knows she's not stuck there of she is having a really crap time :)

I think it is a very common reaction to the idea of being away from home and parental separation. They experience the loss of one parent and are then very clingy to the other. I think giving in makes it worse - and you'll probably find that 5 minutes after you have driven away she (they) are both fine.

Poor thing, it must be hard. Mine always has to establish what mood her father's in before she decides whether she wants to go and that can be difficult. He can be in dreadful moods and I don't think she enjoys that much. So I can relate to some of what you wrote.

I am inclined to agree with balia, that often they're clingy and then all sunshine when you've turned the corner!