Calling JMG1 ...... on emigration

[pinkmamma]

Hi there, I saw in an earlier post that you emigrated to Portugal as a single parent (if I have understood right?).
I am thinking about moving somewhere where the sun shines more ie. Spain, France, Portugal and feel now might be the right time to do it DS coming up for 4yrs.
I worry about work etc. obviously, I mean over here I get workign tax credits - I presume once you emigrate there is no help?
How do you find people relate to you as a single parent - there is plenty of stigma here but just wondered if it was worse in med countries.
Would really appreciate your views/advice.
ps. no longer have internet at home so i only manage to log on about once a week right now
Thanks pinkmamma

iirc he is thinking about coming back to the uk

Ahhh!! oh...
(Didn't realise you were a man JMG -sorry!)

Im not a single mum or dad but i have moved to Spain. I would say if you can get as much money behind you as you can. If you choose Spain, I would recommend that you go to an expat area as you are more likely to find work within that community. Work is very hard to find and the wages are much lower than Uk, yet rent and house prices are not much lower than the uk. Also think about schooling, some kids have no problems and slot right in to the foreign system others like my dd was too shy and didnt fit at all and i had to move into the international system which again costs. There is no support here unless you are paying into the Spanish system, so in an ideal world private health care would be a good idea too. I hope you dont think i am being negative, there are some great things about living in Spain especially the weather. We love the outdoor life and the great beaches and countryside. I just wish someone had told me how difficult shifting country can be. I have lived here for 2 years and it has been an emotional roller coaster and im still getting to grips with the language. If you have any questions please feel free to give me a shout.

hi there - thanks for your reply. which are the ex-pat areas? i have a fairish amount of capital to buy a house, but won't leave anything to live on i wouldn't think
its good to hear the negatives.
how old are your kids now (if you don't mind me asking). my ds is coming up for 4 - he is actually half italian and not a shy boy so i kind of feel he would fit in but of course you can never tell. do your kids have lots of friends out there ex-pat and locals?
i suppose i should consider renting for a bit... hate renting though - dead money i always think.
have you managed to make plenty of friends out there? sorry if these questions seem personal..,. just trying to get a clearer picture of things
pinkmamma

We are on the costa del sol but anywhere along the coast really. I live in Estepona between Marbella and gibraltar. It's a nice place because there are not loads of expats but enough to make life easier. My daughter who is just 5 has a mix of friends but mainly other northern europeans. Without the language it is very hard to break into the Spanish community. The Spanish are very tolerant and very welcoming but not really that interested in international realationships. I know that is a sweeping statement and of course there are some very friendly people but in my case, all of the Spanish friends I have are married to a non spaniards. My best friend is German. You have to work alot harder here to make friends, i met my best friend in a park and we were both feeling a bit lonley, so the relationship progressed much more quickly than it would have done in the Uk. The community here is also very transient so Ive made and lost quite a few good friends and actually went through a stage where i didnt bother trying to make friends. I guess it ts different where ever you go but here it definetly seem s that the northern euripeans hang out together. I suppose if you lived in land, things would be different but I thibk difficult if you dont have the language.

All I seem to have done is moaned, the funny thing is we are staying, I have no intention of going back to the UK. I think after two years I have finally accepted that im not going to live in a litle Spanish village, speak Spanish like a native or become hugely involved in the Spanish community. I like my life here but it is a bit like living in a bubble.

We moved to Italy 3 years ago and moved back to the UK in Sept of last year.

It is really hard work with the language and the beauracracy(sp?) and tax is 40% and the general attitude of people to strangers can be difficult.

There is no help financially at all. I also found that there was nothing for the children to do. No library, music groups, mothers and toddlers etc so it can be isolating.

However, the weather is good!

Sounds a bit like Spain!

Message withdrawn

why did oyu move gp?

Message withdrawn

hi pinkmamma
Don't come on mumsnet often now so only just seen this.

There is loads + loads of sunshine here. I have met many Potugese people from Lisbon and Porto who say it is warmer here and it rains too much where they are from, Lisbon is only 2.5 hours drive away!

Personally I feel it is tougher being a single Dad than a single mum (wherever you are) because single mums can hang out with married mums but as a single guy that is tricky even with the best intentions, people love to gossip. As a single Dad with the kids (3)I am in a different World to most Dads as most cases the Mother has the kids if the parents split up.

I have had a very tough few years and although I am thinking of moving back to the uk that is partly because I feel i have moved on and need to give the uk another go before making a longer term decision on where to live. Having said that if i had a wife i would feel more comfortable here, but that also goes for the uk.

It is great for the kids here, they have been able to play outdoors in t shirts somedays even in Dec and Jan. They are all enjoying the internationl school too. Somedays have been nippy (not like UK nippy) but every month we've been here there have been some days when you could sunbathe!

I don't know whether you could still claim tax credits or not.

i still have a uk based business and i would not fancy having to work here to support us all.

I say if you can afford to give it a go then why not! better to try and go back to the uk than to keep thinking about it until it is too late and then say to yourself i wonder what it would have been like livig in the algarve (or where ever)

HI JMG thanks for your reply. The weather aspect out there is definately very appealing but after some long hard thinking I have decided its not for me right now. It was good to hear your experiences. Good luck whatever you do. Pinkmamma