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3 replies

Iblameba · 28/02/2012 20:59

i think I know the answers but just need to vent.

EXH finally moved out after long protracted separation, straight into house with OW and her kids. He has not been the best father to our two DCS over the past year, eg, shouting, ignoring, not doing child care when he said he would, going away with OW at the drop of a hat after promising DCS he would stuff with them, criticising their education, abilities etc prize see you next tuesday!!

So out on Saturday, Monday - I will pick up from school - not done that for months, drops home - walks in etc etc.

Today he phones he wants to have DCS on Saturday to sleep over at his new house - has bought a bunk bed ( something he knows they hve been dying for and I said we would think about for birthdays - summer) and he wants to take them somewhere I had promised them for Easter.

I do not want to stop contact and never would, but he did not even explain to them he ahd a new home, with new kids in it and OW, he ahs done eff all for the alst year and now I am supposed to believe he has turned over a new leaf.

I hurt.

OP posts:
purpleroses · 28/02/2012 21:14

Poor you :( It's really hard supporting your DCs' relatinship with someone who's hurt you so badly and you fear will hurt them too. You're right - you know the answers, that you have to go along with it, but OK to say that it hurts.

Is he planning on explaining his new set up to them? Or expecting you to do that? I'd at least insist he tells them himself I think if that's possible.

Try to make the most of the time when they're with their dad to get out and do something you enjoy. And maybe find somewhere else to take them at Easter if he's pinched your great idea - then your DCs will get two trips they enjoy :)

Happylander · 28/02/2012 21:16

It really bloody hurts doesn't it. I can't really add anything as mine is still raw to see the bigger picture most of the time. However, just remember you are their for children all the time and they will see that. Bunk beds and days out is not going to mean much to them when they are older and can look back and see what you did for them compared with their dad.

It bloody grates though doesn't it. I know I will feel less angry about it all as time goes on and be able to let it all wash over but think it takes some time to get to that stage.

I bought a bottle of wine with my lottery win so you can have a glass too Wine

Happylander · 28/02/2012 21:18

Sorry missed some words out there been a bloody long 12.5 hour shift in an extremely busy A and E. Brain is shagged!

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