Give DS a chance to be what he deserves...

[useyourloaf]

...not what you are!!!

Text message from ExP to me received at 6am, bought about because DS wouldn't go back to sleep at 5.30am this morning at ExP's house and it is my fault.

Is this further evidence I can give to solicitor to go in "warning letter" - these kinds of comments are his style and I find them really insidious - along with "I think you're insane" etc etc.

ExP doesn't have pot to piss in, but has NP who has massive 5 bed house. (Hmmm - another thread perhaps). He has informed me that DS (2.10) when he is with them, has the advantages of living in the best area and that he socialises with upper class people!! FFS!! He also reminds me that DS has better facilites there.

Got warning letter of my own from his solicitor this morning saying lots of petty, groundless things but also that he would be applying for joint residence. What does that mean? He already has DS 2 nights a week.

God he's doing my head in.

I think joint residence means you don't have the Resident Parent / Non resident Parent classification and all that that entails. You both become the resident parent.

It doesn't ( I think ) necessarily mean he'll want 50:50 split with your dc. But he might.

I don't think him texting at 6am, however annoying is going to be seen as very important if you raise it in a solicitors letter. Best to just ignore them ( but keep a record ) assuming they're not threatening.

Thanks MrGin for your reply. I think, (but I really hope not) he could want 50:50 split. Would be too disruptive and then there's issues about school etc just for starters.

A 6am text in itself is just annoying, yes, but it's one of many, as well as voicemails and they are rude/abusive. Is "I will f* things up for you" threatening in your opinion? So maybe threatening as well, and certainly controlling - not allowing or "authorising" as he put it, for DS to attend nursery so I could return to work pt.

Er, yes that is definitely threatening. It's a common piece of advice on here to keep records of everything in these situations, so that you can refer back to them later if, God forbid, it goes to court. It can be helpful to move conversations to email as they offer a good way of keeping / documenting what was said. And it also means you don't have to put up with abusive phone calls.

The 50:50 thing is a pretty contentious issue. It works for some and not for others. But if XP is very controlling or / and bitter it would likely be a way for him to get at you.

The ideal situation ( often in Utopia ) is that you somehow manage to get on, but that is far easier said than done.

Have you spoken to a solicitor about all this ?

Yes - have appointment lined up with solicitor. I've managed to save most messages but space running out on phone now and have to remember to save voicemails every day so they don't get deleted!

Download them to your pc / laptop / anywhere else that's safe.

Pretty much all phones have some way to do this, but they're all different.