When they're ill you realise how lonely it really is

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so 4 yo ds has a temperature and i had to pick him up from school today and took him to the doctor and he's ok, just a bit of a viral thing coming on, but i just start getting this overwhelming feeling of, nobody to share burden with - i've never known what sharing the burden means as i've never had a partner since he was born but i just feel it tonight.

I hope your lo is better soon there are lots of lovely mums netters if you want/need to chat

it can be tough at times like this but your just to keep thinking to yourself that you are doing a really amazing job. I hope hes better soonXX

I have recently been thinking this. My little one is 14 months and i have been on my own right from the start. When everything is well it does not bother me at all, but last week she had chickenpox. She was very gumpy all day and not sleeping at night. I have never felt so lonely in the whole time I have had her. I think the added problem of being contagious meaning that we were stuck at home didn't help.

I hope that your little one feels better soon. Keep your chin up

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Is terrible, isn't it?

I have felt it worse in two occasions:

Once when it was very cold, windy and snowy and DS had a temperature and I had run out of calpol. I knew I need to go and get more calpol but at the same time I knew that taking him out in the snow was only going to make his illness worse.

The worst one so far was when DS and I got a bad flu which made his asthma flare to the point he was sent to hospital in ambulance. I had a temperature and a horrendous headache, and was basically falling asleep next to his bed trying to keep him out of mischief while they sorted him up... which was followed by a week of having to give him his medicine every 3 hrs, day and night, when I could hardly manage to get out of bed myself. After 4 days, I rang the office again to tell them I couldn't go and when my boss asked how I was doing, I ended up crying on the phone to her for more than an hour

I hope your ds is better soon.Sometimes it is overwhelming isn't it?Keep chatting if you need to offload xxx

I'm right here with you. My 4.5 year old also has a temperature today, sickly, painfully whining and grizzly.

My 2.5 year old is getting stir crazy... I couldn't take him to nursery because the other is too ill to be moved.

I live in a village, I don't drive, I have ebay items to post urgently (if they're late, buyers don't care if your children were so ill you were housebound, they Neg you anyway then you can't sell because of the Negs then you have no money to buy things for your children ...), I have no milk in the house, no food, ..

Times like this, I wish so much I had their father with me to just 'be there' let alone run urgent errands.

But then I remember, if he was, he would only be sat on the computer telling me what a useless C* I am that I can't multitask when the kids are ill and it's my own fault anyway for not getting her jabbed/moving to a village where illness goes in circles/giving her school meals not packed lunches/ who knows what else obscure.

And most two parent families, the other parent is out at work all day anyway whilst you are tending your ill child.

So I think to myself, if I can get my ill child through this, I can do anything for her.

She's dozing now, she will get through it, young children are troupers, her immune system is working in overdrive to make it all better. It passes. The emotional toll it takes out of you is surprising though, isn't it?

Oh poor you, it's so tough when they're poorly. My little boy now has an ear infection, after a chest infection 2 weeks ago. He's been waking coughing and crying for nights on end now and I'm shattered. It's also hard on my little girl when he's so poorly as she hardly gets any time from me. But like someone else said, it was actually tougher when I was married, as I did 95% of all the childcare anyway, and had to catch up with my work stuff late at night. I was loads more stressed and lonely with my ex than without!
Not sure that's a supportive reply - but sounds like you're doing a great job, and sometimes "sharing the burden" isn't all it's cracked up to be!!

Hope he feels better soon.
I know it probably isn't much consolation but I'm another one who did the majority of the childcare - in particular ex didn't do sick kids or kids who woke at night. I then had the hassle of dealing with him being in a strop because I was on my knees with tiredness and the endless preaching about how I worried too much and always put the (sick) kids before him. Honestly OP, as your son gets a bit older, it will all get so much easier.

Hello another sympathiser here, its one of the the times I feel like a totally single parent, over half term I took my dd away for a few days to see friends and family. She had had a cough for a few days but on the thursday night she suddenly got a lot worse, high temp and started vomiting. It was awful and even though my friend was very sweet I missed not having the support of a partner. It was a loooooooooong night and a long drive back home in the morning.

thanks for all your messages of support - he got better quick and i'm pretty much back to normal - enjoying life and doing it all my way - but maybe i should call this guy up i know to be a friend with benefits - but i would never do that in reality, even though it might be nice and spice up my life abit, it's just not something i would really do, it's way too embarassing, he's probably got a girlfriend now anyway, also his ex wife is a friend of mine so that would be too weird - that's the main thing stopping me.