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Lone parents

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when was the last time you had sex or any type of intimacy?

52 replies

festi · 27/02/2012 00:29

to loooooooooooong. will i never have sex again?

have dated strangers, from internet, bars, had friends with benifits, so to speak, now nothing, nadah, no one. where do you meet people. im socialble, ok looking but I have not met anyone for the past probably 2 years.

OP posts:
TheOriginalNutcracker · 28/02/2012 15:11

Urgh, I have just been turned down, twice, by two different people.

TheOriginalNutcracker · 28/02/2012 15:15

That sounds like i have just randomly asked people for sex lol. I didn't mean that

smartiesrule · 28/02/2012 17:43

About 3 and a half years, and I don't miss it a bit because EH was crap Smile

smartiesrule · 28/02/2012 17:43

That should be XH not EH LOL

AmIthatbad · 28/02/2012 21:37

TheOriginalNutcracker I have been knocked back twice, and that was after building up a lot of courage.

Never again, I am obviously a hideous person, inside and out

And I haven't had any intimacy for nearly 8 years

jshm2 · 29/02/2012 06:24

Why just under 13 hours ago.....

I'm an insomniac so have to tire myself out to get some shut eye and even then some nights it takes a couple of "sessions" before I'm exhausted enough to actually sleep.

But I've always been intrigued by people who say they can't "find company" or "get intimate." Just as much as I'm intrigued by people who can hit a pillow and be asleep within a few minutes.

In my experience it's usually the nervousness of the "wanton" party (male or female) in asking for someone to give them company that puts the other person off. They feel you don't really want them and are asking them more as a last resort. Sort of like asking your grandparents to stay over because your lonely. You don't want them to think your a sad person with no social skills and you have too much pride to believe "it's come to this".

The other reason is just plain lack of experience. Just because we're adults does not mean we know everything. Rutting teenagers get "a lot more" not only because their drinking and "popping" so have lower inhibitions more of the time but because their in a sexually charged environment.

If you ever look at what passes for "teen entertainment" in magazines, online and on TV it's practically soft porn. So really it's just a question of asking the right questions for them as their living in that sort of environment.

Anyway, my advise to you would be don't give up on yourself and get a lot more friendly with people. I'm not the shy type so have no issues with getting along with people - or telling them off. But others who ask me and "win" often find it easier to make friends first and then sexual partners of their desirable friends. The "official title" of course is "friends with benefits".

The other way is to decide on the type of person you want to meet (everyone wants a handsome prince but be realistic with yourself). Like a marketing agent you need to make yourself desirable to that type of person. So do your research on where they go and what type of profiles of people they like and make yourself fit it.

This is why dating sites ask you to fill out profiles and they match you with others. The formula is not fool proof as you could be in love with a persons image rather than reality and will reassess after meeting such a person. The important thing is life is about relationships too and it's a skill few people try and learn these days.

MyNameIsntFUCKINGWarren · 29/02/2012 06:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BettyPerske · 29/02/2012 10:08

AmIthatbad Tue 28-Feb-12 21:37:51
TheOriginalNutcracker I have been knocked back twice, and that was after building up a lot of courage.

Never again, I am obviously a hideous person, inside and out

__

Baby. That is how it makes you feel when someone you like turns you down. I have felt it too! the trick is to meet someone who likes you back, and that means you don't get turned down, and once you're past the stage of 'Oh My Goodness, there must be something wrong with him if he likes someone like me', you actually start to feel desirable and nice and pretty and good.

You're probably really rather lovely but you just feel shit about yourself, that's Ok, but it's based on having no one on your side to tell you how lovely you are.

The only advice I've got, after being unhappily alone,and fairly happily alone, and in a lot of relationships that didn't work right from the start, really, is that the more men you meet, the more likely it is you'll meet one who adores you.

I didn't have to go far for mine. He came to my house one day and that was that.

Chin up and keep on keeping on x

KWL51 · 29/02/2012 10:16

a couple of months ago now, xh used to have the children every other weekend and at least one night a week, but he's working in europe for 6 months and hasnt had them overnight (i decided to go to tenerife in the half term instead of chaperoning the dc to sweden where xh would be working at least 8-6 for them to see him for an hour or so before bedtime, selfish i know but he did agree to it) since the second of january.
My current bf has not met the children and i dont want to do all the introduction bit yet as our relationship is a bit of fun and nothing serious, i guess friends with benefits, but i dont want to be introducing my children to random men and then them/me moving on in a few months/weeks.

its a minefield really, roll on xh coming back to the uk and my regualr weekends back. I miss the children like mad but usually find something to occupy my time Wink

MrGin · 29/02/2012 14:11

< dips toe in >

A month. I have a lovely, funny FWB single mum, who lives outside of the UK and visits every six months or so to visit her aunt and remind me what sex is.

Not sure I could do another relationship, so it works quite well. Could be a bit more frequent though.

< I am not a hairy trucker >

Solo · 29/02/2012 14:14

Well over 3 years, but may as well say 6 years as even when I was with ex, he hardly touched me once I told him I was pg :(

akaemmafrost · 29/02/2012 16:12

15 days ago and fairly regularly since Christmas (same bloke!) but before that it was two years.

The first time we did it I woke up the next morning with his arms round me and it just felt so good to be with a man like that again. My ex H hurt me so badly I didn't think I would ever want to be with a man again. It went SN awfully long way to finally repair the damage ex caused.

akaemmafrost · 29/02/2012 16:14

an not SN Confused

Propinquity · 29/02/2012 17:52

Hmm. About two years. Doesn't help that I have a sweet nature but with a prurient mind Grin
Everyone seems to assume because of my character I am somewhat of a prude and have only had sex twice. (I have two children...) when in fact mismatched sexual compatability has I am ashamed to say been the deciding factor in my leaving almost all previous partners (not without extensive trying to resolve first I might add).

Since signing up for Facebook though I have noticed somewhat alarmingly that previous boyfriends, flings, etc have contacted me with offers of no-strings :/

Unfortunately, lovely as they are, I am in the middle of a great big crush and wouldn't even consider them. I am being faithful to a complete fantasy, daft isn't it?

Confused
And no, I couldn't do the FWB thing with him, I respect him far too much.

Posable showerheads it is then.

hubbabubbabubba · 01/03/2012 12:34

About 2 weeks ago. I have a couple of fuck-buddies, and all is good!!

Seriously, most of you should find some! Grin

ThisIsExtremelyVeryNotGood · 01/03/2012 12:49

Sunday. I have a very lovely FWB Grin

badtasteflump · 01/03/2012 12:52

Last night Smile

badtasteflump · 01/03/2012 12:55

sorry sorry sorry Blush

Just clicked, posted and ran (via 'most active') without checking the topic thread Blush Blush Blush

Just ignore me....

festi · 01/03/2012 13:09

ha ha badtaste are you just rubbing it in Grin.

OP posts:
badtasteflump · 01/03/2012 13:13

Noooooooo! Honestly, do ignore me, it was just a 'push the buttons & night then' bonk, over in ten minutes, nothing exciting Blush

festi · 01/03/2012 13:19

better than nothing Grin

OP posts:
BlueNails · 01/03/2012 14:31

A year ago, was the first time after having dd and resulted in ds.

I have decided that I'm going to get a FWB.

XH left in December but we rarely had sex and tbh hadn't had a relationship for the last 9months of relationship (Since we found out I was pg)

BlueNails · 01/03/2012 14:31

that should be it was the first time since having dd

BlueNails · 01/03/2012 14:31

damn it IT

AmIthatbad · 01/03/2012 19:18

I'd quite like a FWB, but they are as hard to find a relationship. Grin