Exp just said he still loves me!!

[joysofmotherhood]

Any advice be greatly received.
Exp declared still loves me, how bout going on date sometime?!. Its still early days of being single after 6yrs together, although the problems started long ago. Am living with ds past month so lots big changes, does feel strange although enjoying my freedom!. Exp did frustrate the life out of me at times!. I suppose I know in my heart we separated for some very good reasons, but do you ever wish all those problems could just disappear and you can be part of a proper family again. Maybe am not making much sense, just feeling very sad and bit confused. Why does this new life have to be so hard at times?!. Thankyou, feel bit better for sharing all that!!.

Oh bless you joys. It is hard and as much as you know that the seperation was needed and that being together was probably not quite right, that feeling of someone loving you is very flattering and addictive. Absolutly you have every right at this very early stage of separation to wish that all the problems were gone and you could have all you ever wanted, but please try to remenber you separated because a relationship with exp was not all that you wanted.

Do you still love him, or love the thought of him loving you and the idea of what could be if it was all different? By all means talk to him about all the reasons you separated from him, but take care as he may start to say he can change and it will be exactly how you want in order to get you back. Do you think you could go back?

hi girls, I have been passing something similar, split after 7 years, now 6 months passed and I am still confused! I love him but I know I didnt feel comfortable to live with him, I dont know what is better, if to keep reminding my reasons why I left him or to let the love come back again and get stuck probably the same situation as before. And when having kids, knowing I destroyed our family, it is not easy really:/ The only thing I am worried is that I will not able to provide a good new family life for my son as he had.

Thankyou both for your comments and advice, its a tough one alright!. Really seems be the head saying one thing and heart another!. I honestly think I am missing the whole family thing and of course someone to really care and love me. I know deep down that hes not the right person for me, and I was not shown much care or love for a long time while we were together. Almost makes me sound bit mad doesnt it!, after spending a long time trying to break away from the situation. I know what you mean, calamity they can be great to tell you what you want to hear but its action that really counts. My exp had a lot of chances to improve things and to work at it, but just seemed intent on going the opposite way!. So now, think I have reasoned it out just have keep remembering how much I have been through and how bloody hard I have worked to improve mine and my sons life. Think must been having a weak moment, hoping it shall soon pass!.
Emma, please be rest assured your son will be happy when he has a happy mum. My little boy is much more content in himself and no longer has to listen to the arguements thankgod!. Children really are amazing, as long as you are ok they will be too. Remember, we are only doing our best.

I think your both doing fine, Joys is right, the best thing for dc's is happy mummys, children will always know when they are in an unhappy home, and although you might think it is well hidden, they know about it, and will react, maybe not in words but with their behaviour.

Nows the time ladies, dust yourselves down, allow your selves to heal properly, enjoy your children and love will come along when the time is right for it. Im not a know it all, I divorced eh when ds was 6 months old, he is now 14, I have remarried and have another ds, life is good, we are happy.

Thankyou calamity I so love a happy ending!, am pleased its turned out so well does give me hope.
Thanks for the words of wisdom, prob like the cliche time heals. Just have to remember to have patience with the process and am sure moving into happier times!.

Definitely happier times to come! Good luck.

Mine declared this not so long ago. Mega awkward. Always thought that us staying on civil terms was best for the small girl but clearly it's brought another problem for us as I definitely don't reciprocate. I think it's just important to focus on the reasons for the split. I just had to remind him about my bad points and when I'd finished a few hours later, he'd gone off the whole reunion idea!

I think the clincher, in all seriousness, was the effect it could have on the small girl. Confusion city!

Cows will fly before either me or my ex say something like that to each other, but, even when we were at the best friendly stage post split, when I had so much affection for him as a friend and we were getting along much better than when we were married, I would have said no.

Simple, it took me Y E A R S to find the courage to leave him, and there were good reasons to leave him, starting dating him again would have been as going back to the horrible dilemmas of the days years before the split.

If you think he is not for you, let it rest.

Say 'that's nice' and move right along. Keep reminding yourself what things used to be like. Make a list if you have to. There are far worse things than being on your own.