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Working fulltime with young baby

4 replies

roadlesstravelled · 20/02/2012 16:59

Hi All,

I am single, pregnant with my first baby and I work full time. I intend to take 9 months maternity leave and then return to work full time. My baby will be around 8/9 months old at the time.

I live on my own and I have family relatively close-by, but I cannot rely on them for childcare. Therefore, baby will be in fulltime childcare. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

My hours will be long, work will be stressful and I am scared that I will struggle to cope. However, I have to work to pay for mortgage. Plus, I have just recently started working at my job and have had a lot of time off due to pregnancy related illness, so I do not think I am in a position to ask for flexible hours when I do return.

I think the reality of my situation is starting to sink in or do you think I am over-reacting?

Any advice would be welcomed.

Thank you

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mrsbigwobblybottom · 20/02/2012 17:19

Hi there, you're not over reacting at all. It is a terrifying prospect and a situation that I was in myself. Stressful job, single Mum, no nearby family.

I am here to tell the tale 6 years later Grin

Is your baby's dad in the picture at all? If so, set the scene now in regards to his responsibilities. Childcare should be split between you. Don't do I what i did and be too stubborn to let him help.

That said, if he isn't around this can be a blessing in disguise as you can plan your life with just you and baby in mind.

Some tips from me are:

-Shop online
-Treat yourself to a babysitter one night a week
-Do your hosuework in one 2 hour burst on a saturday morning so your whole house feels up together
-Meal plan
-Start building a network of local Mum's as soon as you can. These will save your life Grin

If i think of anything else I'll let you know. I'm sure there's loads x

slowginny · 20/02/2012 18:46

Hi sweetie
First off, hope you're enjoying your pregnancy, if possible, try not to let financial woes spoil this magical time.
Secondly, yes you will probably need a bit of support from family and friends if you can. Try and pin folk down closer to the time if you can. I said yes to every piece of support offered and am pleased I did. See if you can elicit some help, even if it's an evening's babysitting.
Thirdly, you have a right to ask for flexible working and will probably need it to some extent. Try and put aside any pride any fill in a formal request when the time comes. Please don't be talked out of it because it will make all the difference. See how you feel when you get there but trust me, it will be on the agenda.
Lastly, don't panic, if you don't return to work, it won't be the end of the world. A few years out of the job market, renting out your house to cover the mortgage and enjoying your new baby is okay. You might even think about starting your own business in this time-one of the advantages of single parenthood is that once baby has gone to bed, your time is your own and you'll have plenty of it if you are resourceful (and you sound it).
Best of luck and a big hug to savour this magical time.

purpleroses · 20/02/2012 19:26

Have you checked out other financial support that you'll be entitled to once DC is born? You should get tax credits and also child support from your DC's father (unless he's not alive, not known or uncontactable).

Tax credits will give you quite a lot of your income is low-ish and your childcare costs high, and it tapers off for the more you earn. What this means is that if you earn more you have slightly more to live off, but not a lot more. So it can be really worthwhile considering if you woud be almost as well off working part-time. Tax credits also gives you a small (around £10/wk) boost for working 30 hours or more, so working 4 days a week could give you almost as much money as 5.

Child support is usually 15% of the ex's net income for one DC, unless he's on benefits when it's just £5 a week. But if it's a possibility, work it out and factor it in to what you can afford. MrsBig is right to suggest looking into what your DC's dad can do in terms of childcare too. If he's on the scene at all, and potentially capable, then use him.

I went back to work when DD was 9 months old - it's not a bad age to start leaving them as they tend to get more clingy by a year or so, so good in some ways to start earlier. But I only worked 3 days a week, and really did value the two days a week I had at home with the DCs (DS was 4 at the time). You can manage with full time work, but personally I think if you have the choice it is nice to have some more time at home with them.

Also, spend the 9 months maternity leave building up your contacts with other mums - there's heaps of opportunities to do this via baby groups, toddler groups, etc. Even with formal paid full time childcare in place, you'll always need something to plug the odd gaps when the childminder is ill, you need to work an evening, or something else crops up. You can offer to have their DCs round in exchange (though this too is easier if you don't work f/t - though I guess you could offer weekend playdates)

And don't be afraid to ask for flexible or p/t working if that is what you would like. You've a legal right to have it considered (if you've been there two years or more I think). They may be quite happy to have you work from home a little, or reduce your hours. It's ever so common for women returning from maternity leave to ask to go part-time or vary their hours a bit - employers will hardly be surprised by it. The worse they can possibly do is to say no, so don't hesitate to ask.

But if they say no, and you have to stay full time, don't panic. You'll be fine - as suggested shop online, rope in whatever friends, family and babysitting support you can get, and if you can afford it, get a cleaner for an hour or two a week.

roadlesstravelled · 22/02/2012 11:42

Thank you for your advice. I think I'll have to try and deal with it when the time comes. Financially I will be better off working full time. Will I cope? I guess I will have to wait and see.

I am more concerned because I am exhausted now and struggling with work. It might be because I am pregnant and had bad morning sickness before and now I'm slightly anaemic.

It is helpful hearing that others have done it and live to tell the tale. Hopefully, I will be as strong as you all. I grew up in a single parent family, but my mum never worked full time. I will definitely take on board your suggestions.

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