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Lone parents

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Original poster

My 1st lone parent day is ending - It has been a long day...

17 replies

mama2moo · 13/02/2012 19:45

Any tips on how I can make the days go faster? I have 2 dd's - 3 and 2 years old.

Dp finally left last night after us planning it for a month. I am devastated today and cant stop crying now. I am so bored of my own company and the girls have only been in bed for half an hour!

Please tell me it gets easier. I hate that he has a life of his own now and can go/ do anything he wants. I am tied here with 2 kids, no car and no money.

Sad
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SuePurblybilt · 13/02/2012 19:53

Aw. It gets easier. It gets brilliant.
I had a similar situation but now I have a lovely (to me) house, I can drive, have a great job and a lovely life with DD. You'll get there too, it's just a bit bumpy to begin with.

Money - you need to sort that. Maintenance, tax credits, benefits - whatever. Do it urgently.
Bored - threads on what to do on no money all over MN (and NM for the local, shhhhh). Why are you bored with your own company after one day? Was ExP such amazing company Wink?
Crying - well, that's bound to happen. Anyone you can ring in RL? Any support?

You need to get some help if you can, have someone come for a cup of tea or meet you at the park and listen to you for a bit. Be kind to yourself and embrace Cbeebies and the biscuit tin for a day or so - it won't kill them. Sort out the money ASAP.
It's all going to get better after today, honestly.

hathorinareddress · 13/02/2012 20:04

It gets fantastic, like Sue says.

Money will get sorted.

As Marilyn Monroe said, it's better to be unhappy on your own rather than unhappy with someone.

You can sit at night and eat as much chocolate as you want with no one complaining.

You don't have to pick up their dirty socks or listen to them snore.

And he'll have access to the kids, so you'll get time for yourself.

Life will get tons better - pm me if you want to chat

slowginny · 13/02/2012 23:15

Definitely gets better! I set up my own business, two actually, and there's never a dull moment. Actually I'd kill for a quiet night with the TV.

Sending you a hug, hope someone's said that this is all normal and you are doing brilliantly. x

cutteduppear · 13/02/2012 23:27

Agreed wholeheartedly with it gets fantastic
And one day you will too.

The days when my DCs were small were very hard but I made the most of the lonely evenings by doing a college course which was one day a week with lots of homework.
I did homework almost every night when the kids were in bed, and enjoyed it!

I gained a qualification which went towards my current career.

SuePurblybilt · 14/02/2012 09:13

You having a better day?

molepom · 14/02/2012 10:28

It gets fantastic very, very soon, once you get into a routine..then there isn't enough hours in the day again.

Original poster
mama2moo · 14/02/2012 20:59

Thanks everyone! You have cheered me up!

Today has been a lot better! Me and the girls have had loads of fun! Exdp came round while I went to work and I honestly didnt care about seeing him!

I feel a lot better and know that I am already feeling happier now he has gone. Our relationship hasnt been great for 2 years!

Thanks again everyone, I am hopeful that it will get a lot better and that me and the girls will be happier!

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smokinaces · 14/02/2012 21:18

It does get better. Honest. It gets easier. You find a routine, you find hobbies in the evening (or you MN all evening Grin) You sort access with the ex so you get some space on a weekend/in the week. You realise there are good points to not having him around anymore. You get to live alone, think about what you want for dinner or want to watch on TV. You have less washing, less mess. You get all the nighttimes cuddles and kisses, and those sleepy first in the morning cuddles from the kids.

Have you done the practical stuff? Rung tax credits/applied for income support if youre unemployed/rung council for your 25% council tax discount etc. Write a list tomorrow and make sure its done. Arrange for a friend to come over with a bottle of wine one evening. Have a popcorn and film evening in your bed with the kids.

There are many positives to single parenting Grin Welcome!

Original poster
mama2moo · 14/02/2012 21:42

Thanks smokinaces Smile

Practicalities are all taken care of! Funnily enough I had a film/popcorn evening with the girls last night!

Hopefully I will be able to put some money back and take the girls away for a few nights in the summer! Something to book and look forward to!

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smokinaces · 14/02/2012 21:49

The first holiday just you and the kids is amazing. I only did 4 nights,in a friends caravan in October when it was ruddy freezing (but cheap!!) but it was brilliant. Theres a real sense of pride in everything like that that you achieve.

I look at my boys every night and think "I did that" and am proud at doing 90% of the work myself and them coming out the way they are. Its hard, but so so so rewarding.

Original poster
mama2moo · 16/02/2012 18:06

I am thinking 2 nights in a caravan on a park that we have stayed in several times. I love it because there is enough to do on the site if I dont feel brave enough to venture to the beach!!!

Exdp is here at the moment. Its very weird!!

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Worldwithwings · 19/02/2012 08:07

How's it going a few days in Mama2moo?

Original poster
mama2moo · 19/02/2012 19:29

Today has been my worst day yet! I worked this morning and Exdp had the girls. This afternoon has been the longest yet! I am missing him like mad but I think its the company that I miss. Being stuck without a car is a big issue! I am so looking forward to work in the morning so that I have people to talk to and laugh with!

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Original poster
mama2moo · 19/02/2012 19:32

Ps Thanks for asking after me Smile

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smokinaces · 19/02/2012 20:50

Keep your chin up. Remind yourself of the bad bits, and you wont miss him anymore. It does get easier.

Worldwithwings · 19/02/2012 21:21

Sorry to hear it's been hard today. I found the period following the first couple of weeks awful after I separated - maybe it was fully sinking in, but I felt fearful (even tho it was all amicable), confused about whether it was the right thing and vulnerable. I leaned on my friends heavily whilst they reassured me it would get easier. And it did. I'm glad your work will help because I think having something practical and stabilising to do makes all the difference. Sundays are tricky anyway. You will get thro it and it's true WILL get better.

Original poster
mama2moo · 20/02/2012 19:36

Thanks both. Today was better but I worked for 5 hours which is lovely!

Exdp hasnt text once today to ask how the girls are. I honestly dont understand how they can switch off from their children. My eldest is 3 and a half and has been so good. She tidied the living room for me yesterday without being and asked and came and proudly told me she had done it! I am lucky to have my girls!

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