Is it wrong to be happy that 'sperm donor' isn't around??

[ColourMePurple]

Is it wrong to be OK with the fact that this guy - this waste of space individual - this biological sperm father

absofuckinglutely! My xh has not seen ds since he was 2, and that was the only visit he managed since we left when he was 10 months old! Ds now 14, we have contact with grandma, who in turn has no contact with xh, her son, either! Not a penny is ever been paid which is fine as that means I don't owe him any time in return. Some men are such useless waste of space beings that to allow them to have the chance to mould young minds is just dangerous. Stick to your guns, your kids will thank you in the long run!

Good for you Colourmepurple! Sounds perfect reaction to me your children have a fab Mum x

Indeed.

Never close the door, though - if he was to ask for contact, I'd suggest he'd have to re-build a relationship with them by letters, then phone calls, then a contact centre. That way, you can be sure the contact is as safe as possible for your DC.

I agree with you OP. DD has never seen her bio dad, his choice. He knows where to find us but I stopped trying to push him to get involved years ago (she's 10 now). She doesn't mention him any more and has never mentioned wanting to see him.

When I read posts on here complaining about messed up contact arrangements, bio dads feeding their kids crisps and watching 18 movies on contact weekends, I feel very relieved that I can offer her a more consistent upbringing. I would feel upset to have to split her school holidays, birthdays and Christmas so she could go to her bio dad as well, like some of my friends have to.

I've never had any maintenance but although I only work p/t, I can budget well and DD has access to activities, holidays and decent clothes.

I'm also in a new r/l now and it really is so much simpler when there is not an ex around! DH has taken her on as her own and we are more like a family unit than a blended family.

You are a lot like me bloatmare, I have re married and ds has taken the new name as well, calls DH dad and it is like we have always been a family, it is a father son relationship not a step father. Even when we had ds2, the bond is still as it should be between them. Ds has never asked and is not interested in why there was no man for the first 7 years, it has worked really well for us.

Agreeing with all of the above, we're in a similar position and am much more relaxed than some of my single mummy friends who have the hurdle of dealing with their exes on a regular basis.

Its nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels - at least, a little positive about 'sperm donors' lack of involvement.

I would hate to be in a position whereby my children where being constantly let down by him. Although, I do have to second PinkCarBlueCar, when she says that one should 'never close the door' and to 're-build' on the relationship with his child/ren rather than to expect it.

Furthermore, Bloatmare said: 'I can budget well and DD has access to activities, holidays and decent clothes.'

And this is something I fully agree with, as I have not had to rely on his help financially and this has enabled - and at the same time - forced me to budget well and guarantee access to all the things that my children need and want.

Above post needs rephrasing - minus a couple of 'ands' maybe, lol- tiredness catching up with me... I'm sure u get the jist of what I'm saying without thinking I'm a retard

Yep, I'm still a bloke

Glad the discussion is not one sided! Apologies MR-PinkCarBlueCar