Maintenance

[Iblameba]

I am slightly embarrassed to post this, as I have a phenomenally good salary and can support myself and my 2 DCs.

However, Ex wanker and the evil money grubbing OW from hell are using this as the reason for him not providing any maintenance. I have to be honest and say I would stick it in a bank account for them for university etc but he seriously does not have the right to say that he does not have to provide because I can or does he?

His OW has DCs and minimal salary so I know where his money is going but he still has a responsibilty to his own 2 surely, regardless of what I earn.

They are making me feel guilty for asking and I feel like a complete turd but this about his DCs and his responsibility to them, not me.

Yes, he does have a responsibility. If you have a good salary, then it is YOUR money that is going into a bank account for Uni, after his has helped meet their day to day expenses (or for that matter, your money could go on an expensive clothes habit for you, or anything else you fancy) It's not your sole responsibilty to support your DCs - It's your ex's too. So if you earn more, then that's more left over for you, after you have both contributed to the cost of the DCs.

You could make a list of the costs of the DCs, and use that to show him that he should pay half if that would help.

CSA takes no account of your income, so legally you're in the right - you can go via them if he won't pay.

He definitely should pay. But also it takes the pressure off you too. Say you got ill you wouldnt feel so forced back into work if you knew there was contribution coming in from him. And it also takes the pressure off say if you needed to for many reasons reduce your hours of work - again you could do it with his contribution coming in.

No he should pay for his children regardless of what you earn. He should provide for them. My ex doesn't pay maintenance as he says he doesn't have enough money, but he does see them often and have them overnight and I can afford it so I don't push it (at the moment!). I guess I feel guilty as I left him so feel I kind of put him in the position of not having much money but in reality he was always bad with money. BUT at the end of the day, your ex should DEFINITELY be paying, your wage is no excuse not to and OW children are her responsibility not his.

Thanks -did a quick CSA check - how galling is it that my kids get less because her kids live with them. Even though I know her EX pays through the nose for maintenance - he pays the rent on the property and she gets £1000pcm for 2 DCs.

I had a feeling I was right just sad that he has sunk so low. He was such a great Dad and now unless it involves OW, the rest of his old life, family, friends etc are ignored.

The money is for them, not you - and by that I mean even if you do earn a good salary etc, they are still entitled to support from their father. With uni costs the way they are, the housing market so tough on first time buyers, you never know when a little nest egg could make a significant difference to their lives.

Don't let them make you feel guilty for their decisions in life!

Imo, it matters not how much you earn, nor how much you have, in case you were a lottery winner .

He should support his DC. It is irrelevant how much you earn.