csa

[babs2011]

hi all is it worth going down this road CSA my sons dad is self employed and said i want get a penny because he will piss them about not the best of dads :)

Sorry to hear you're having difficulty getting maintenance. The CSA aren't great but if he is refusing you haven't really got anything to lose by getting them involved to try and get money. Start now before charges come in and see if they manage to get him to pay.

thanks thats what i was thinking my sons 9 and hes never paid a penny or as had contact untill last year then when i asked about support he faffed around then said he not giving me any then said take it to the csa as thay cant get him as he as another 2 kids hes never paid for x

Why not give him an ultimatium, be precise think of a reasonable figure not too high and set the date that you want it.'I would like you to contribe xyz amount paid on the last friday of the month if not then I will go to the CSA and let them sort it."
He has to contribut to all his children your son doesnt stop existing because he has other children the amount you receive would be decreased but you would still receive some.

hi yes we did talk about it and thats why its come to me going to the csa as he didnt want to pay any using daft saying like oh thats all i wanted him for was money which after paying nothing for 9 years errrmmmm yes to support your son . its come to the point i txt him yesterday that i would be posting the letter to them today ,, his reply was i want nothing more to do with you now i wish you dead ,,,,, i txt back .. i take it you dont want to see your son also ....he then txt ..course i do but i hate you to much now i would kick your head in .....this from a man whom as never played a part in his sons life or botherd to contact me ... i got in contact with him and things was going great for the first 4 month untill i asked him for support, he came and went when he choose too i cooked him food etc when he was here we went out as a family ,, now he wants to be abusive to me over support he didnt bother getting his son a prezzie at xmas and hav'nt seen him since xmas eve .

How hard for you.

Try and keep yours and his life as separate as possible, dont text or reply to txts unless they directly concern your child and keep a record of any nasty ones and dont send any yourself no matter how tempting. You might find he goes for court now if the csa do sort it out, it seems to be the pattern that when the exs HAVE to pay then they pretend to want more access even if they dont live up to it.

My ex and I do handover at my front door have a little chat about any issues food/illnesses etc that might apply and then she goes and same when she comes back. I think it must confuse children to see their parents together when they arent used to it and I think they all secretly hope for a reconciliation. Its still early days it took 18months for things to settle down for me since DDs dad came back on the scene.

Just go to the CSA then as you have started to. It takes a while to get anything and I am forever on the phone trying to follow my case up but its worth it in the end and puts a third person between you and him so as to distance the financial aspect of your lives.

yes i have decided not to talk to him and i dont think he'll be in contact to see his son , so ive posted the form off just leave it up to them if it comes to nothing so be it , think were better off with out him upsetting us and thanks for the advice :)