New lone parent, new to Mumsnet. Really need a bit of advice!

[shorty78]

Hi Everyone,

My DH and I have just split up. Long story short, he had an affair a couple of years ago, at the time I thought we could get past it and eventually we'd be ok. 2 years later, I still don't trust him, and I've turned into this suspicious, insecure woman who I can't stand to be around, let alone expect DH to put with me!

It's all very amicable, but as a SAHM I have no earnings of my own, all I get is the Child Benefit, and teeny bit of Tax Credits.

What I'd like to know, is now that we are officially separated, can I start claiming things like Child Tax Credits even though DD and I are going to stay in his house until we can get a council place?

It's all very confusing, and I have a massive headache from fretting about it! Any advice would be very, very much appreciated :)

Hi Shorty

Not sure I can be of much help, as I split up some time ago. However, I did claim for everything I was entitled to as soon as he'd left!

I'm sure someone will be along pretty soon to give you all the info you need, they're a helpful bunch :)

Thank you, I will call the benefits agency in the morning and see where I stand. He still lives here too, so I'm worrying that it will hinder me getting things like that sorted before I move into a house without a penny!

Thanks again, any advice is great at this point!

Have a look on Entitled to which will give you an overview of all the main benefits that you may qualify for. If your DD is under 5 you do not have to seek employment to claim income support. Also look at the direct gov website for allowances etc. Gingerbread here have some good resources for lone parents too.

Try not to fret. it will all be sorted in time.....as you are married you may wish to take some legal advice before you quit the marital home....and also to work out what you wish to do about residency for your DD as this will affect what you are entitled to and where you live. resolution hold lists of lawyers with particular expertise in this area of law and many of them will give you a free first interview.

When you call benefits/job centre plus, explain you have just split up with your husband and ask for an appointment with a lone parent advisor, they are really helpful (in my experience).

Missed that about the house - why are you referring to it as his house? Surely it is your joint house, being married and all that?

Please don't think I'm being bossy, I walked away to a new house and took nothing with me, and if that's what you've decided to do then that's okay but do get advice on this. Make sue it's your decision completely and that you are armed with all the facts.

Oh Thanks so much everyone.

We're not actually married, so thankfully, we don't need courts and so on.

It's just finding out what step to take next!!

Thanks again :-)

I would still have a free consult with a lawyer. Divorce is not the only thing they advise on

You have DC(s) together, you could do with at least knowing what your rights and responsibilities as parents are and having a look at child maintenance, contact agreements, residency etc.

all the best