Need to contact CSA - can anyone hold my hand and advise?

[Orbinator]

Ex has decided that he definitely wants contact but as he sees me as having a "financially secure future" due to my savings and owning my house outright, is refusing to pay maintenance.

I cannot get him to understand that this is unfair. He is renting and has no savings.

He has said to me that CSA favours women. How can he not see that he needs to be responsible for his child? He isn't on the BC etc and I have said to him now that if he wants to walk away then that is his choice, but if he wants to see her then we must go through CSA as we have tried to sort out an arrangement before and just ended up arguing (due to the above).

Hope that's not to waffly. DD is being a bit fussy atm.

Should I call CSA now and get them onto him...how does it work?

Your DD has two rights - to have contact with her parents and to be financially supported by her parents. These are entirely separate things in law - one does not depend upon the other.

Does he get to see his DD right now, or are you wanting to sort out maintenance before that happens?

Hi Orbinator firstly I think its important to treat contact and financial support separately if you can, its far better for the child to have some kind of relationship with the non resident parent and no financial support, than for the child to get neither, although this is not easy

when you phone the CSA they will want your ex's contact details and they will contact him asking for his income details. they will work out an amount he should pay each week/month and if he doesn't pay it they can take steps to retrieve the money (ie an 'attachment to earnings' so it comes straight out of his wages) My ex is a master at dodging the CSA, quitting jobs, getting manager to lie for him and even moving halfway across the world as I was 'taking all his money'

I am sure someone with more knowledge will post soon as the CSA is changing and its been a few years since I have dealt with them.

The CSA works out how much he should pay based on his earnings and nothing else. It doesn't take into account anyone's savings or how much you earn. It doesn't "favour women", though whether what it calculates seems fair to you or to your ex is obviously subjective.

You can apply to them to collect the amount they calculate that he should pay any time you like.

However before you do this you might want to have a look on their webpage which has a calculator on it. If you know how much your ex earns you can use it to work out what the CSA consider he should pay. You can then use this as amunition in your discussions with him, which might make him agree to pay you direct rather than through the CSA. If he agrees to set up a direct debit then this might mean the money reaches you more quickly than via the CSA.

The bottom line is that your savings and house, etc are yours. And your DD is yours and his, so both of you ought to be contributing to her upbringing, and if that leaves you with more money left over than it does him, then that's just tough.

Pink - am aware they are separate. Trouble is he won't commit to regular contact either. He has been seeing her but is away on business a lot and has said he doesn't want to commit to weekends as he "would have no life".

Have tried to explain to him the house is DD's nest egg for her future but he doesn't seem to think that should be.

Can I contact them even if he isn't willing to use them?

Fair enough - the way your OP read to me it sounded like you were waiting for maintenance before contact. Very glad you're not. Sorry to hear that he's an idiot who cannot commit to consistent contact.

You can use the CSA even if he won't. The sooner you get onto them, the sooner they can crack on with your claim - they will not back date your claim.

The first thing they'll do is much the same as you have done - ring him up and give him a chance to pay voluntarily. In some ways, you're better off if he refuses to engage, as they'll (eventually) get his work details and go for an attachment of earnings.

IIRC you're looking at 15% of his net earnings, but check on their website.