residency order - can i apply without ex's consent?

[racetobed]

I would like to apply for a residency order for my child. She is almost 3, and has lived entirely with me since birth. Her father is supposed to see her once a month, but often leaves it up to six weeks due to stag nights/holidays/skiiing trips. So he is a very extreme NRP, if you will.

Please note, I am not trying to obstruct contact with the father, but merely to officially state that her permanent residence is with me

I have been advised that residency is automatically awarded to the parent whom the child has lived with for three years.

However, i do not particularly want to line some family sol's pocket in the process, and am thinking of applying as an individual through the local courts.

Do I need her father's permission to apply? ANd if he contests, am I then looking at a costly, and more adversarial, process?

You can do it all as LiP - Litigant in Person. There will be court fees, but the process and forms themselves are quite straight forward. It can be a bit hairy if he was to contest it, but from what you say, it'd be pointlessly expensive for him to do so.

I have no idea about the three year rule.

Why do you feel the need to have a residency order in your favour? Surely you have it in a de facto sense as that's what's happening anyway?

THanks PCBC.

I want to apply bc he has recently got married, and has hinted he wants a court order for 'tax reasons', a matter which sounds largely driven by his new wife.

Also, he lives abroad (EU) and has hinted dd shd be spending time with them over there. I agree with this, obviously, but feel that 3 is too young, given that she sees him so infrequently and has rarely spent more than 2 days with him. I think it is her best interests if he sees her in her hometown until she's at least school age.

A residency order would restrict him from taking her abroad without my permission to 28 days a year, so would put the onus on him to visit her more.

you need to get advice from a solicitor - even if you then apply in person you should seek some advice first so you know what to put in your applciaiton

if he isgoing to seek more contact or some kind of contact or residence order for tax reasons then it might not be so simple.

Thought there might be a non-UK element to this.

Does he want this "tax reasons" court order to talk about contact, or residency?

Hopefully, he wants it to be about contact, in which case fine, ask him what he'd like it to say (I'd suggest doing this by email in case things turn nasty - then you have a record of what was said in the early days of trying to sort this out amicably), and then go from there.

You can download the appropriate form from HMCS website - I think it's C100 - and on there and the supporting paperwork you could detail that you are applying for residency and that you and your ex have discussed contact and would like it to be whatever.

If that discussion hasn't taken place, then you need to suggest whatever contact you believe would be reasonable, but you also need to bear in mind that there should be indirect contact (phone calls, skype) and that due to the distance involved, it's highly likely that a court would offer him longer contact abroad, so you might as well offer at least long weekends once a month depending on feasibility.

Hi

Pink has pretty much said it. I will say that since he is living outside the United Kingdom and wants DD to visit that it may be prudent to get a residency order - if you were to send her over and he suddenly wants to play "happy families" with his spouse he might start making noises about not sending her back and whilst Brussles II etc would apply in that your DS is habitually resident in the UK it's really not something you want to have to deal with should things turn suddenly sour. It's costly having a child returned who has been unlawfully retained in another country, even with international treaty safeguards in place. Is the father on the birth certificate? You don't need his permission to apply for one though there is another way of going through this and thats with the help of a solicitor where you bothe come to a legal binding agreement. In any case, many solicitors offer a free initial consult where they will listen to the facts and give you the outline and possible ramifications of the choices you make - it's worth taking that time to find out exatly what your rights are, and his.

Good luck.