Practical advice on lone parenting and work please

[2ndDestiny]

I'm posting for my sister who is newly pregnant by her ExP after a contraceptive failure. He wants nothing to do with it and she is trying to decide whether to proceed with the pregnancy. This is very very difficult and there are lots of things to consider which I won't go into here - but something which she particularly needs advice about is combining work with being a single parent. She loves her job and does not want to be forced to leave it. She thinks she could come to a part-time arrangement with her employer after maternity leave, but on her pro rata salary - although sufficient for a single person - she will not be able to afford childcare. She thinks she would get working tax credits but still not sure it would be enough. There's a possibility of some family help but no guarantees.

If anyone is willing to share, it would help her to know how other single parents have negotiated this sort of situation and what kind of solutions you've found. Is it possible to combine work with being a single parent or is this unrealistic if not a high earner? Any advice on where to get more information also very welcome. Thanks in advance.

i do 16 hours a week on min wage (only job i could get despite having a masters degree) and i am better off than not working. Its hard financially but better than being on i.s hth.

oh and i havent any support e.g ex or family. It can work if the employer is understanding.

As long as she works 16 hours or more she will get tax credits which will include 70% of the childcare costs. The tax credits taper off but as a single parent with one child you get some with incomes right up to about £30,000.

I became a single parent to two when youngest was 3 months old and have always worked - now have a mortgage and am earning enough to feel comfortably off :)

You can go on the tax credits website to work out what you can get (though annoyingly they give it for the rest of the year, rather than a weekly amount, so you have to work that out).

Family help is wonderful if you can get it - especially for the unpredictable things (sick children, need to swap days at work, etc) but I don't have any as my family live too far away. I made good friends at toddler groups, etc and rely on swaps and favours with other parents to plug the gaps.

I earn slightly less in my salary than in the job I had before I had DS but am much better off! I get working tax credits and child benefit and I had a hopeless spendthrift husband to deal with before! I'm not a high earner, I work full time though.

Priorities change, I go out much less now although probably spend more on a night out because it's more of an occasion. I don't spend loads, when I didn't work when DS was a baby (before I split from ex) I used to do things like mystery shopping and lots of shopping around for the best deals because I had the time to go to different supermarkets or markets and learned where was cheapest for which things. I have less time for that now I am working full time. I cut back on a lot of expenses and worked on my finances so it cost me considerably less, cheaper phone/broadband, changing utility suppliers, reducing my electricity and gas use, cheaper mobile bill etc.

Childcare costs reduce as the child gets older, so the first years are the toughest financially.

There are thousands of things you can buy for a baby, most of which babies don't actually need, it's a good idea to take a sensible look at things and work out if you really do need them. Great bargains can be found on eBay as many people buy stuff they never use and sell it on. I have sold on a great deal of my DS's baby things, some for almost what I paid.

Your sister is entitled to child support from her ex also, regardless of whether he wants anything to do with the baby. It would be a good idea to calculate what she would get in working tax credits, child benefit and child support to get a better indication.

Thanks for all these replies, they are very helpful. I'm sending my sis a link to the thread. Useful to know that it can be done if this is the route that she decides she wants to take.

MissPricklePants if you don't mind me asking, do you use a CM or nursery or such like for those 16 hours?

Purpleroses and FannyBazaar thanks for all the tips, re: tax credits, finding friends to share childcare with (she doesn't know many other parents but she's good at making new friends), money-saving etc. (I reckon she can have all of my used baby stuff if she needs it).

DD goes to nursery twice a week, I would much rather be a sahm but needs must!

Hi OP. I went back to work FT when DS was 3 months old. I am very lucky enough to have my parents step in to help me. I don't know what help your sister may receive although I'm certain if she applies to the council during maternity leave she would qualify for them to help her pay rent (assuming she rents and only gets SMP)

She would also be entitled to Tax credits, Child benefit and if shes on a low income she may still be able to get a grant to help towards baby stuff although I'm not 100% sure if she still can get that.

HTH

even if ex wants nothing to do with the baby he still has to pay

I work 8.15-5.15 and use childcare -mine are school age but I had one in full time nursery when I became single

I find if you are honest with your employer and try and be flexible with them (eg if she wants part time, which days would the employer want her in, rather than which she would prefer to work) then if they value you then they will usually allow a degree of flexibility with you

OP, if your sister has a look at this link, she can input her details based on what she is likely to earn on the part time hours she wants to work. Just bear in mind the changes that are coming in after April, and then again when universal credit takes the place of tax credits.

nannyy share , childminder , nursery etc. many options to consider.

short term (first few years) childcare costs are high but its worth it for long term gain - confidence, income etc.

schools - chose one with before and after school club etc.

what are her housing costs, could she downsize in first few years while spending more on childcare?