help coping on my own with no break.....

[happyatlast]

I will keep it brief, I am a lone parent, work part time, with 3 kids, 12, 7 and 23 months. They all have different fathers so as a result there is never a time when I do not have any children with me. My eldest daughters dad sees her on a sunday whilst I work, thats it, no more than that, my 7 year old son goes his dads weds and sun nights but that still leaves me with my eldest and youngest two, and my youngest never goes to her dads now after an incident last week where I showed up unannounced at his house and she was in a room on her own, door shut with an electric fire on with no fireguard, so I will not allow him to have her on his own at his house as a result.

Now the problem with all this is that I never have a day or a night off, ever. If I am not at work I have my youngest daughter at least.

I have called social services today to find out if there is anywhere I can take my youngest and maybe get help with the cost of it, if I can take her somewhere for a few hours once a week just so I get a break, albeit for only a few hours, its better than nothing and I think it would help. I mean right now, I am stressed to the max, and I know I am short tempered with my oldest two and they really dont deserve it, so then I get upset cos I know I shouldnt take it out on them in the way of being less patient.

So I was wondering if anyone else has been in the same situation where their family knows about the situation but doesnt give a shit and they have no one else, I just need a break just once a week from all kids but I dont know how to get it.

Have you tried Homestart? They can help by taking one or more of your DCs out for a bit I think.

Tough with no family support. Can you try swaps with other parents? Would try and get something so the youngest is off your hands for the odd bit of time as 23 months is a very tiring age. Is there any means of having an extra half day at nursery (or wherever your 23 month old is when you work) during the week?

hard but hold onto the fact that in two or three years time oldest will be old enough to help out more.

maybe ask for a volunteer - local church? student - pay something) ?

Yes to Homestart. Ask your Health Visitor to refer you and Homestart will match you with a volunteer who can come in once or twice a week for a couple of hours each time.

Good luck and take it easy.

Could you afford to use a cm for a few hours on a school day once a week for your youngest? Obv depends how much they charge and on your finances but it may help you to know you a have a few hours to yourself on a regular basis.

I remember your other thread where you were saying about your ex and your youngest.

I can understand why you don't want him to have her by himself at his place, but could he have her elsewhere, such as at a local Dad's group on a Saturday, or could he take her to a toddler group midweek?

IIRC he's not working, so something midweek could be an option. That way, he gets some contact with his daughter and you know it's somewhere both safe and where there are other people around. And of course, you get a bit closer to having a bit less stress.