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Original poster

CSA claim, is it time to give up?

7 replies

Snowfire · 17/01/2012 12:43

I'll try & keep a very long story short.
My XP and I split up soon after I became pregnant. He said at the time that he would support the baby (DD) financially but didn't want to be part of our lives. As you can imagine I was a little miffed by this so when he quickly found a new woman to move in with and decided he was no longer willing to pay maintenance for a baby he didn't want, I decided to go to the CSA.
Since that time, almost 11 years has passed and I feel like I've spent more money on phone calls than I've received in maintenance. XP hops from job to job moving or going on benifits as soon as the CSA have organised assessments and set up deduction from earnings. I just feel like I may as well give up!
XP gets in contact very occasionally and tells me none of it is his fault, it's the CSA being useless. Then tries to tell DD how much he loves her!! Angry
I wonder if this is worth carrying on with, We haven't received any maintenance in years and when we did it was only for a couple of months until he could move jobs again and restart the whole process. I don't think he's ever going to have a relationship with DD, doesn't even send a Xmas card. I've just had enough now.

OP posts:
froggies · 17/01/2012 15:43

Split up with DS's dad when he was 10 months old. Got in touch with CSA a year later, got first payment (about £100) a year later, got next payment 5 1/2 years later, every week for about 2 months. Haven't had anything since. DS is now 15 1/2. Every now and again I get a letter telling me how many thousand pounds he owes me (currently stands at about £25k). Same story, they catch up with him, he quits his job and moves. He no longer gives me his address, everything goes through his parents address (he is 39 years old this year!) I no longer bother phoning to see what is happening, and laugh when they occasionally call me to give me updates. So far he has paid about £1000 in 15 years, hasn't seen DS since he was 3, but still sends birthday and Christmas presents....
Good luck is all I can say!

cuteboots · 18/01/2012 13:46

similar story here Im afraid my little boy is now 8 and really this man has offered nothing. He gives his sisters address and then dissapears for a few more years! I have reached the point where Ive now given up but I also still get the letters from the csa telling me how much he owes! Grrrr

Original poster
Snowfire · 20/01/2012 10:30

It's so frustrating, I keep hearing about plans to charge for the service and to be honest I think I would have to cancel the case if this happened as I would be worse off. I guess there are probably thousands of people in similar situations. Sometimes I wish I had picked a better man to have a child with but then DD wouldn't be who she is today, at least I've got her and she's all mine!! :)

OP posts:
STIDW · 20/01/2012 23:48

Don't give up. There is always a chance the CSA will eventually catch up with them and you may eventually get a substantial amount in arrears. Better late than never.

covermeup · 20/01/2012 23:59

Familiar story here too. My father left when I was 10 months old and kept changing jobs/moving, etc so not to be tracked down by the CSA. I never got a birthday/Christmas card until I was 11 when I got the occasional card. Eventually he started paying CSA when I was 14 and he will be paying all of the arrears now still for a few years. Luckily me and my mum never struggled and it just makes me appreciate her even more knowing how much pressure she must of been under but she still did everything she could to give me an amazing upbringing :)

Dont give up, they will track him down eventually and he will never get away with it. Good luck, I hope you get what you deserve soon x

GalaxyAddict · 21/01/2012 00:00

I am also at the point of giving up with the CSA! I know I won't get any money off my ex, he is far too devious. I am now trying for a variation of income as he claims he is not working, as living off savings. He has cars alone worth over £100k, but still does not have to pay us a penny!?!?!

Has anyone ever had any luck with the CSA, or are they just a bunch of muppets?

Original poster
Snowfire · 22/01/2012 00:18

Covermeup, that's great to hear a happy ending! Your mum must be an amazing woman and it sounds like she's done a wonderful job of bringing you up!

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