Non resident separated dad concerned for 2yo safety

[jc0202]

Hi all.

I am becoming increasingly concerned for the wellbeing of my child since separating from his mother a year ago.
Everytime i visit there's crap everywhere, sometimes literally (cat), scissors lying around, tools, my jaw drops when i see whats amongst the usual toys and whatnot.
She's made some poor decision about making sure he's safe lately (running ahead alone in the street-he's 2!-we live in London)and one significant misjudgment sometime ago where he ended up in plaster. When i challenged her about it she flew off on one and won't have me round again.
If this is what its like the odd occasion i'm there, whats it like when i'm not?!
I see my son all the time, he is well looked after, its not a child abuse case or anything. But his mother's seems to be making some terribly risky decisions and i can't help feeling there's accident waiting to happen (not for the first time).
I want to get something done, but personally can do nothing. She is unable to discuss anything, so talking is out the question. Don't want to involve Social Services, what can i do? Talk to her GP?
Please, any good advice gladly accepted

"""if parent A says to hv "i wish parent B would come clean my house" then hv can tell B but really would be within parent b's right to say "hello! i have my own house to clean! hers is her responsibility. you arrange with a and ss for help to clean! """

If the parents shared custody of the child this would be reasonable, but for a parent whose looking after the child 90% of the time, I think they should get help from the parent who only does 10% of the work, it's not just her mess at all, it's the childs.
If the non resident parent really wanted to improve the childs living conditions they would look into helping.

If a non resident parent said 'uhh I have my own house to clean, call SS if you need help' I would think they'd be really native, idiotic, and a bit selfish.
Because saying that wouldn't be supportive, (they're not recognising that resident parent is putting several hours of work a day into house keeping and doing their part as well as their own, twice the work)
and obviously SS don't just come and help with cleaning (how wonderful would that be),
but even if they did putting help with cleaning your child's house onto the tax payer is out of order.

as if a health visitor would act as a go between anyway.
A health visitor would do her job to check the child's health, and alert authorities if they feel a child is at risk.
It's the parents responsibility to arrange about how to get their child's home clean and cleared.

Hm, there's a difference between an untidy house and cat poo lying on the floor...I'd be concerned too. It's very unhygenic. Perhaps exW is going through depression? And yes, I'd be concerned about a toddler running ahead on a busy street - they're little brains aren't trained to deal with the consequences of their actions yet and the little one could just dart out into the road.

While it coudl be seen that you're just out to cause trouble (sour grapes etc) I doubt that you are, and now the HV wants to visit because of concerns over the last meeting.

While I'm sure you dont want to turn this into a witch hunt (and I commend you for such things - I wish I had an exH like you) I can understand your concerns.

I hope things don't escalate out of control either between you and your ex, or your ex and the HV and that it's sorted quickly and without much fuss.