Am 7 months pregnant, with first baby husband left out of blue 4 months ago now going through divorce.

[biyboo]

I know I am better off without H and I will be a happier mother without him constantly dragging me down and not helping with baby but I do feel fear and a bit of amxiety about being a single mother. I think more so now as in under 3 months I will be a mum for the first time in my life.

I really am happy to be having a baby but I never thought that I would be a single parent. What scares me most is people that may take advaantage of me being on my own.

My parents are both deceased and I have no siblings or cousins. Does any one relate to my thread or can you give me some positive and constructive advice from your experiences?

Didn't want this to go unanswered although I have no practical experience to offer. There is a fantastic lone parents section of this board and I'm sure you'd get lots of great advice and support from the posters there. Perhaps you could ask MNHQ to move it to the lone parents board?
Very best wishes to you and I hope things go well for the rest of your pregnancy.

Nuns answer has it spot on regarding the lone parents section. I was a lone parent from when my 1st DS was aged 3 so not quite the same but I can relate to some of your concerns.

FWIW I think you are right in saying you are better off without H, and without wishing to sound obtuse you could be in a worse position, because at least you are in control of your own destiny and will be able to decide when the time is right to meet someone who is worthy of you and your LO rather than being miserable with someone who could have made every minute that they were in your home with you and LO very miserable.

I genuinely wish you all the very best :) xxx

Thank you nuns, do I need to find the MNHQ section and click on to ask them to link to lone parents?

Biyboo, just Report your own post and ask them to move the thread.

I've been a single parent from birth and it's been a fantastic experience. My self-confidence has never been higher because I make all the decisions about my life and don't have anyone around to undermine me or contradict me. I feel a great sense of achievement at it being 'all my own work' and I have a very nice relationship with DS into the bargain. True there are some downsides.... struggling on when you've got flu, needing to go back to bed but can't because you're looking after the baby would be one example. And I think you need to make a special effort to keep a social life going because you don't have automatic adult company from a partner or an in-house babysitter! However, given the stuff I hear from married and co-habiting friends about 'DPs' and 'DHs' driving them round the twist in various ways I think, even with the drawbacks, I have a far better time of it. I would be very reluctant to share life with a partner again.

Don't understand what you mean about being taken advantage of. I found that once I had DS to look out for I turned into the human equivalent of a gazelle at the water hole..... very alert to dangers and far more protective than I thought possible.

Good luck

Someone said to me that after baby born that your radar becomes more highly tuned and you are able much better to sniff the bad out from the good.

It's not as bad as you think I'm on my own with dd nearly 8 months and it's great I'm very independent though and guess if your not already you need to learn to be just enjoy your baby, when he or she arrives and the rest will fall into place

On a practical note, do you have someone to be with you at the birth and help out for a little while after? I used a doula via the doula uk website, might be worth a look?

Yes I have doula booked for end of march when baby due. Do you think I should contact her on help with prenant classes/stuff. I am 29 weeks pregnant now and next thurs was going to see my midwife at hospital about also having prenantal classes at the hospital.

"your radar becomes more highly tuned"

Definitely true. Part of the delight of sole-from-birth is that you really learn to trust your own instincts. The natural strength and protective instincts that all parents experience are magnified because you have that added knowledge that you are 'it'... the buck really does stop here. No-one to blame. No-one to defer to. Age 35, as I was at the time, that was the day I became an adult :)

BTW... I went to prenatal classes solo. Attracted a few odd looks from the couples there but some of the fathers-to-be looked so that I was glad I didn't have one! Took my best friend into the labour suite and she was brilliant.